Wrong Planet - Asperger / Autism News

Mothers Day Hints for Men

Why is it so hard for moms to take a break? What can fathers do to help?

First of all, struggling with taking a break from maternal responsibilities is normal. This is hard for the mothers of typical children�who presumably have a little less to be preoccupied about than mothers of children who have autism and other special needs.

So feeling overwhelmed by the enormous responsibilities of motherhood is normal, but when it goes on indefinitely, it�s not healthy for a mother or her family. And fathers tend to begin feeling left out and neglected. While I frequently write about fathers, I spend a good deal of my time as a psychologist listening to mothers. Almost invariably mothers seem to be relieved when they give voice to their struggles�particularly the guilt about not doing enough or missing something they should have done or thought about.

Read Mothers Day Hints for Men

Bullying - You Have More Power Than You Think

The following column by Jeffrey Deutsch is part of his "It Gets Better" series on Wrong Planet.

One thing that Aspies so often suffer from is bullying. People picking on them, insulting them, vandalizing or stealing their stuff, even spitting on and hitting them when they can't fight back.

I've been there, done that and gotten the T-shirt.

One of the worst things about being bullied is the fear. Fear that something could happen at any time. Being afraid that everyone will see how weak you are.

Having no control over anything. Being *helpless*. And that happens with a great deal of bullying.

Read Bullying - You Have More Power Than You Think

Loving Someone with Asperger�s Syndrome

The following article is written by Cindy Ariel (PhD), author of Loving Someone with Asperger�s Syndrome.

I wrote Loving Someone with Asperger�s Syndrome for several compelling reasons. Over the years I�ve had the opportunity to work with many people with AS and their partners either as individuals or couples and I have seen the struggles from both sides.

As I looked around for guidance, in the form of books and/or research to help me to help them, I found a serious dearth of information focused on these couples. Much of the writing seems almost to take one side or the other as if we are talking about two different teams or sometimes even enemies rather than two people who love each other and are trying everything they can to connect, yet coming up short.

Read about Loving Someone with Asperger�s Syndrome

Scotty Holman: All the King's Horses: Shattered Memories of a Borderline Mother

WARNNG: Wrong Planet is a family friendly site. However, the following article by columnist Scotty Holman touches on a very sensitive subject that may not be suitable for children or other people who are uncomfortable reading about abuse. Reader discretion is advised.

*"All is caprice. They love without measure those whom they will soon hate without reason." - Thomas Sydenham, seventeenth-century physician, describing patients he referred to as "hystericks."*

My mother was truly beautiful. I don't say that as a proud son eager to lavish her with published praise. She was beautiful - that is a fact. Breathtaking as she may have been, she was also irreparably damaged, the product of an age-old pattern; the lovely and pure are victimized by bitter parasites who suck away every obtainable drop of innocence, thirsty, perhaps, for their own long lost purity.

Read All the King's Horses

It Gets Better - by Aspie Columnist Jeffrey Deutsch

I've been there, done that and gotten the proverbial T-shirt. As an Aspie who grew up pre-ADA, never mind pre-Aspie acceptance, I was unemployed, underemployed and lonely for years.

In fact, I'd probably still be that way, if it wasn't for Emily - my first and only girlfriend ever (now she's Mrs. Deutsch). We met when I was 29 1/2, and a few years later, after Googling my more...interesting...traits, she figured I may be an Aspie.

She made me aware of my condition and how it was driving me to do and say things that pissed everyone else off and closed doors to me.

As a result, I came to see that I really could re-shape my own future - by re-shaping my behavior.Just like with gays, it can get better for us too - if we make it so!

My Appointment to the Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee

Last fall, President Obama signed the Combating Autism Reauthorization Act, which ensures that Federal autism research and services programs will continue without disruption. The act also directs the Interagency Autism Coordinating Committee (IACC) to continue charting a course for autism spectrum disorder research while simultaneously advancing the delivery of needed services.

Shortly after the act was signed, I received a call asking if I�d agree to be nominated to serve on the Committee. I agreed. Yesterday, I received the news of my appointment by HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius.

Read on. . .

The Social Human & The Art of Positive Communication for Autism

I met Nanna Juul Lanng while speaking at the conference in Denmark. This is her first column:

Human beings are per definition flock animals. There is no real way around this fact. Our success as a species is partially based on our superior communication skills which allow us to share our knowledge and experiences in a much more efficient way than any other animal on Earth. We have no natural physical weapons; no claws, no fangs, no spikes. Even our most incredible athletes are, in comparison to most animals our size, quite slow and not particularly strong. We're so soft, fragile and vulnerable and to top all of this off we're also naturally naked. Our physical features are, all in all, not very impressive.

But by learning, adapting, sharing and creating we have spread throughout this planet, and we have created a lot of the world we see before us today. We are, as humans, hypersocial beings. We are genetically coded for social interaction. We depend on each other, we seek the approval of our fellow men, and we judge each other by our ability to master these social skills and rules.

Read on. . .

Aspie or NT? The Pros and Cons of Acting Neurotypical

I met Maja (and a lot of other cool aspies) while speaking in �rhus, Denmark at the AspIT conference. This is her first column:

Hi, I�m Maja and I live in Copenhagen, Denmark and I�m a 25 year old woman diagnosed with Asperger�s. I�m a singer/songwriter and a student.

I always knew I was different and started learning social skills before I was even diagnosed. When I was 12, I realized that I wanted to be a part of the world and started to mimic and learn social skills from others. Most of my social skills, however, come from character based roleplaying.

Many other aspies say that I bend to the will of NT society, by acting as if I am an NT. I, of course, don't think so because I only act NT when the situation calls for it. But let's start at the beginning. . . .

Read on. . .

Kirsten Lindsmith on Gender Identity, Sexual Orientation, and Autism

Recently, an article appeared in the New York Times featuring my boyfriend, Jack, and me. It was about how autism affects romantic relationships, though really it was about how our autism affects our relationship. Every relationship is different, and every autistic is different.

One criticism of the article that really resonated with me was about my comment about how learning to dress differently opened me up to more romantic venues. I said, "A lot of it is how you dress. I found people don't flirt with me if I wear big man pants and a rainbow sweatshirt." Now, like many autistics, I have trouble communicating my thoughts and intentions when speaking aloud. I am far more eloquent in text, thankfully, but nevertheless, my speech difficulties lead me to say things like this. I want to clear up exactly what I meant, because out of context, this statement can be quite hurtful to many people. After my explanation, I want to address the larger picture behind the controversy: the autism world is currently extremely hetero-normative.

Read on. . .

Exclusive: Watch the Banned French Autism / Psychoanalysis Film: The Wall

An anonymous source has given Wrong Planet a copy of the banned film in france that exposes human rights violations perpetrated by government funded psychoanalysts in France against autistic individuals in the country. Using a technique called "packing," children (often unclothed) are wrapped tightly in frozen wet blankets for more than 45 minutes in an attempt to treat autism.

Sophie Roberts, a film director from France directed The Wall or Psychoanalysis Put to the Test for Autism, which was banned in France yesterday. "Professionals" in France still believe that autism is the fault of the mothers (mothers are referred to "crocodile mothers." Bruno Bettleheim, discredited by Bernard Rimland more than 40 years ago, used the term "refrigerator mothers."

Read on. . .