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Mitrovah
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01 Aug 2014, 4:53 pm

Lately I have noticed people tend to tell me their personal stories without prompting, I mean really personal almost too personal, embarrassing in some cases. Sometimes it is a complete stranger(WTF?) or it is someone at a party who may or may not be a little tipsy or drunk. Sometimes its is just a normal public place such as a waiting room, a bus stop. They talk to me as if there is a patient, doctor confidentiality agreement between us. I don't know if it is some kind of aura i give or the fact I have a large beard. Women do this as well which makes me think I will be one of those people who will be condemned to the Friend or Confidant zone.

Does anyone with ASD notice this sort of behavior of NTS toward people with ASD.



downbutnotout
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01 Aug 2014, 6:33 pm

Yes! It drives me crazy because I can't really make friends or connect to people, but for some reason I get this all the time.



1401b
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01 Aug 2014, 9:11 pm

Yeah, cuz we're awesum!


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Somberlain
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01 Aug 2014, 9:23 pm

Actually, everyone likes to tell their personal stories *all the time*. I suppose only people with AS are finding it weird.


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Aspinator
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01 Aug 2014, 11:11 pm

I know what you mean; this woman started telling me about her colonoscopy while we were waiting in line at a deli



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02 Aug 2014, 4:43 am

:D :D :D


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LookingLost
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02 Aug 2014, 6:43 am

Yes, definitely. I don't mind, but I don't think I'm the best choice in terms of helpful responses.


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02 Aug 2014, 6:49 am

I thought a lot of people got that. My mum does, and she's NT. Some random person starts chatting away about his or her personal life and she's suddenly made a friend, even though my mum is quite shy.

It's quite rare for me to have some stranger chatting away to me. Sometimes small talk maybe, but I don't often get strangers saying a lot to me about anything. Sometimes I get a hello from people that recognise me but don't know me, and that's about it.

What I find funny is people at work often tell me things they don't want others to know, and I read somewhere that people mostly only trust people whom they have some sort of emotional connection with. Like once at work a woman got told off for leaving dirty water in a bucket over night (all buckets must be cleaned out before putting away), and of course she said that it wasn't her, even though she was the last to leave yesterday afternoon. They believed her, and when they went away, the woman turned to me and whispered, ''that was me who left the water in the bucket'', and gave a little laugh that meant ''oops''. I gave a little laugh too, and I knew not to go and tell the others that she had - although she didn't know I knew not to. And this wasn't the only time a person (whether I know them well or not) has told me something they don't want others to know. There must be something about me people trust.


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downbutnotout
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02 Aug 2014, 12:22 pm

Somberlain wrote:
Actually, everyone likes to tell their personal stories *all the time*. I suppose only people with AS are finding it weird.


I get much more personal things than what's listed here. Emotional problems, mostly.



Mitrovah
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02 Aug 2014, 3:37 pm

downbutnotout wrote:
Yes! It drives me crazy because I can't really make friends or connect to people, but for some reason I get this all the time.


I know right... It really pisses me off everyone treats me like their shrink; the go to non judgmental person to confide in. Its not really fair if all you get out of it is an awkward uncomfortable feeling in your chest and nothing else. Joe90 mentioned her mother experiences the same thing; my mother also encounters people who just start revealing everything, I suspect she is a walking talking un-diagnosed aspie herself. My mother and I seem to attract attract the weirdos who have problems. I also notice all the weirdos gravitate toward me whom I am desperately trying to avoid in life.



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04 Aug 2014, 1:00 pm

Personally, strangers almost never strike-up conversations i.e., at that, small-talk that clearly pertains to the surrounding environment.

The experience of osmosis from "living in the world" usually allows one to gauge potential environments where strangers would potentially "strike-up conversations" - what to quietly avoid, or subliminally (politely) demonstrate "lack of interest!"



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08 Aug 2014, 6:04 pm

I feel really awkward when a stranger confides in me, but I've actually made friends that way.

I usually respond by showing sympathy, and giving advice if I can...I'm bad at knowing what to say when someone's upset but I've been told that it helps if they know I care.



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08 Aug 2014, 7:42 pm

Not too often thankfully. I usually am at a loss as to what to say to cheer someone up and that makes me very uncomfortable. That happens even when people who I know better need to hear something cheerful.


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11 Aug 2014, 6:05 am

People are always telling me their problems.

They sneak up like ninjas and unload without warning.

I said to one of these people mid-rant, "You do realise I have no idea what you're talking about?"

She said, "That's okay. You don't need to understand. I just need to vent."

Interesting.


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lollipop1729
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11 Aug 2014, 12:17 pm

Yes, that's something really annoying!

I seem to attract this kind of people. Last time was 2 months ago when I was coming back home from school and an old man started talking to me about how he "felt so sad since his wife died a week ago and thinks his live isn't worth anymore."

Seems like this kind of people just want to confide with someone who don't know them and won't judge them. But I'm actually so bad at this kind of situations so I just kept silent and listened to him.

People are weird.



Mitrovah
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12 Aug 2014, 12:50 pm

Personally, It seems to be a symptom of my appeal to all the weirdos out there. I remember writing a thread: "do weird people gravitate toward you" and the consensus was an unanimous yes. Weird people gravitate toward me because somehow they sense my weirdness like dogs can sense bacon. They recognize my weirdness, feel comfortable and confident they won't be judged and therefore "unload" all their troubles on me.