apologizing for social gaffes?

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So, social awkwardness.

I've got enough social skills that I can sometimes, when I'm lucky, manage a friendship when it stays one-on-one. When that starts expanding out to groups, like at parties or other social events, my social awkwardness gets downright epic, and I end up alienating, pissing off, irritating, stepping on toes... (good god, it's a miracle I've got any friends at all!)

So now I'm in a place in my life where I'm looking back on all this. I don't feel like I really have many strong social ties, just holdovers from the past. A very great number of those "holdovers" are people I've alienated etc. I want to apologize to them. I want to cry on their feet and apologize for whatever I did wrong.

However, I get the feeling that that, in and of itself, is an awkward thing to do. That it sets up some kind of social obligation on their part that they might resent.

Anyone have any insight into the apologizing dynamic? Is there a way I can do this without setting up some kind of obligation on the recipient's end?

Ok, let me clarify something.

When I say I want to "cry on their feet", I don't mean that literally. All I mean by that is that I feel really bad for whatever it is that I've done/said to people, and I feel that strongly. I want to fix the situation, but I don't know how.

I generally don't think it is worth apologizing for regular "social gaffes" from the past. I have learned that while I hang on to memories, most people don't remember minor things. If you did something to really hurt someone, it might be worth apologizing.

If the social gaffe was recent (less than a year, I'd say) AND major AND you want to rekindle a relationship of sorts, you could apologize.

I have found that I can't even rekindle old FRIENDSHIPS, even with people I did not offend, because they have moved on in life. So, that would be even more true with those whom I may have offended.

nerdygirl, thank you for your response. That's exactly the kind of insight that I need.

Now that you mention it, when I've tried the apologizing thing before, usually people have no idea what I'm talking about when I start the apology. Then I have to explain, and holy cow, awkward.

Yes, I've done that explaining thing before (a long time ago now) and learned how awkward it is! That's one of the reasons I realized it wasn't worth it.

There are a few people I wish I could do the opposite and say to them "Why the He!! did you say such-and-such to me? What were you THINKING?!?!" But, again, they probably don't remember these things from 25 years ago. The things that stick in my mind as painful splinters are things that other people brush of like lint.

I've kinda got to grips with the whole social awkwardness thing, well outwardly at least ( those Duck feet are still going like hell most of the time) by looking at and thinking about the situation I'm I'm and actively remembering that an Aspie's worst enemy is over-thinking, the internal conversation goes something like 'am I REALLY likely to offend anyone? Am I REALLY that clumsy? Are they REALLY that sensitive they're going to take offence at anything I'm saying?' Don't over-think, don't over think...
It's become automatic nowadays & does help a lot!