Don't know what to do about what my "friend" said

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Chernobyl
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02 Sep 2014, 3:38 pm

Today I was hanging out with her which is something I rarely do with anyone and one of her other friends comes by. First off she started talking to her and pretty much forgot I was even there. Then she made a comment about not having any friends and I found it to be extremely rude considering I was not even 3 feet away when she said it. I could tell she wasn't saying it in a joking way and I don't think she really meant it either. I still thought it was rude that she would even say it though. We have both gone out of our way for each other many times and I wouldn't do that even for my other friends.



hurtloam
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02 Sep 2014, 4:10 pm

Try not to talk it too personally. She might not have meant she doesn't have "any" friends, but rather she doesn't have a group of friends. I've never really been a part of a group that meet up and do things together, my friendships are more one-to-one friendships.

Sometimes I feel left out because I know that other people do things in groups and have fun. So I have been known to say "I don't have any friends" which is not technically true, but it's not exactly what I mean. I mean that I'm jealous of people who get asked out places. I feel like I'm always the one who has to organise things or I would never go anywhere with anyone.



downbutnotout
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02 Sep 2014, 6:20 pm

It's weird, but I think it's something people "just do." Saying something in a much more serious and elaborate way than the reality to express how it feels.

I used to lurk on forums for social anxiety and I'd see it all the time. In the same post someone would say they have no friends... just people they went out with on the weekends and could call up if they wanted. Which tended to grate on the people who had no one to go out with and no one to call, unsurprisingly. Very different "no friends" complaints.