Holiday Office Party Coping Strategies

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First off, ugh. Just ugh. I don't want to deal with holiday parties with family and friends, much less at work. I try to keep my personal and professional lives as far apart as possible, but it seems inescapable at this time of year, and since I'm one of the managers I couldn't just opt out or "have a nasty cold" and not come in today.

Now that I've done a little whining, I feel marginally better, thanks.

So this debacle has been in the works for a month now, and it keeps getting worse. What started off as a plan to do a Secret Santa exchange after the December staff meeting has ballooned into a potluck, Secret Santa, Yankee Swap, and Ugly Christmas Sweater competition nightmare that'll take at least three hours - not including the complete disarray that reigns over the office right now as people come and go doing setup and dropping off food/gifts/supplies.

I can't just put on the "Party Chess" mask and be a Stepford Smiler here, I have to work with these people so they have to be able to recognize me and feel as if we're connecting. I guess what I mostly need is a pep talk - I know I can do this, but I'm dreading the three-day social hangover shutdown that's going to follow.

How sad is that? I'm dreading a real party, so I'm throwing myself a pity party instead. /eyeroll.

Ugh - the kind with the silly "ice-breaker" games are the absolute pits; you have my deepest sympathies!

With things like this that are absolutely unavoidable, I find that the only thing I can really do is to accept that there's going to be a "social hangover" and plan in advance for it. I make sure that everything I'll need to be able to "hibernate" for a few days is in place - plenty of favourite food and drink in the house so I don't need to shop, maybe a new book or game (insert special interest here) and an advance warning to friends and family that I might be less available for a few days to reduce social pressures. It helps me get through the trials a little easier knowing that my "escape capsule" is already prepared.

Omg feeling the pain, that sounds awful, I spent nearly a week freaking out over mine and it didn't even include anything like that xD lol in the end I just got suitably drunk to deal with the noise and number of people.

Pep talk:
It's never as bad as you think it will be, and if it is, just leave! Make sure you have an escape plan for if it all gets too much, and a place you know you can take a break (bathroom, outside somewhere xD). I always find knowing I can leave makes everything better! Also set yourself a reasonable time to leave and then stay later if you are having fun that way you manage expectations other than that smile laugh, and if you can get on a team with someone who'll do most of the talking etc for you all the better! You shall have great fun, and even if you don't it's only once a year ahahha so you'll survive .

I just stopped going. Great coping strategy. I am a manager but more of a specialist manager rather than people manager. I have developed a suitable reputation of eccentricity and so people are not surprised when I don't pitch up for social events.

When I was younger my coping strategy was to get completely smashed. For obvious reasons, this could not go on. In midlife, I allowed my extremely gregarious ex-wife lead the charge. Still, the whole business of parties, especially work ones where an excruciatingly tiring/draining business in my midlife.

In my now later midlife, I don't care as much what people think, I so there is liberation within.

^^ I messed up with the "get completely smashed" method a couple of times in my first full-time job, and resolved never to do it again. There's a certain amount I can drink and hold it together, but after that, my ability to "pass" just goes straight out of the window. I didn't get sick, lewd or violent, but I had a habit of trapping people in a corner and ranting at them, often about rather unwisely chosen subjects!