Is this creepy?
My family is friends with a nother family, and the other family has a 17 year old daughter... I'm 16, and a guy. I hung out with the girl 3 times for a few hours each time, at her house and mine. I think I might have a crush on her, but I just wanna be friends with her for now (besides her parents don't let her date). She's also an intellectual. I wanna give her my old childhood toy as a sentimental gift... The gift is my toy stuffed animal/dog Wrinkle, which was my best friend in the whole world when I was 2, 3 or 4. But is that creepy? I don't want to smother her, and I don't want her to laugh at me... I was hoping it could be sentimental, like giving away a big part of my past and trusting her with it...
nerdygirl
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I understand the sentiment, because there are a few people in my life I have wanted to lay my heart bare before. But I do not recommend giving away something sentimental. You might miss it, and then it would be improper to get it back. Other people cannot show the same value for it because they do not truly understand why it is so valuable to you. Sentimental things have a value that is not easily explained.
One time, I gave away a papier-mache horse I made. It truly was "worthless" except for what it meant to me. I knew this when I gave it away, so I didn't expect the other person to highly value it. What I did not realize is how much I would miss it. I didn't realize until afterwards how much I touched it and ran my finger over it, not believing I actually made it (I did a good job on it.) I made it over 20 years ago, and I can still tell you how I did it. Wish I still had it to show off to my kids.
I too have had the urge to give a gift to someone on whom I might be developing a crush. Sometimes I gave in and sometimes didn't. In general, hindsight suggests "when in doubt, don't".
Hindsight also suggests that if I think I may be developing a crush... then in fact I already have.
My husband and I had our only son when we were 36.My husband had held onto his special childhood toy for that entire time, shut up safe in a box. I've never even heard him talk about it. The toy appeared in our son's room right before he was born. I'm glad he held onto it. You might want to give this special toy to your child one day.
I understand why you want to but I think it would be too easy for miscommunication. If she's not going anywhere soon, find her something when her birthday comes up or some other gift giving day, but not a teddy. You said she's intellectual so if at a point maybe in a few months when you've hung out more, you could get her a book or something related to whatever subject she's interesting and tell her that you thought she might like it. She could take that as either you being nice or realising you have a crush, I think. If you don't want her to know, try not to say too much when giving it to her unless she asks questions.
I'm terrible with girls and gift giving, but I was born female so kind of have a bit of a view into it. Maybe. *laughs at self*
p.s. Don't give that teddy away ever. I had an ex hold on to it as a promise he'd let me come back to his country when I was "well". That was almost a decade ago and I don't have Tedward any more. It still upsets me.
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Let's simply agree to disagree.
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^^^ I second this. I agree with everyone else here, too, but I think Nyx's explanation is especially insightful and well-said. (No offense intended to anyone else.)
I offer my sympathy to anyone who's lost a cherished memento. Oftentimes, people in our materialistic society are teased for finding value in something that didn't come from Wall Street or an exclusive designer....I think those critics are out of touch.
The word "creepy" is sure handed out like candy these days, I don't understand how it's creepy at all..
Either way, it's probably over the top. You don't need to give gifts or fill women with compliments like you're led to believe growing up. They're going to like you for you, and nothing more. Just continue enjoying the conversations you have with her and enjoy the time you spend with her. That's going to influence weather or not she likes you back ten fold over a random gift.
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nerdygirl
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Either way, it's probably over the top. You don't need to give gifts or fill women with compliments like you're led to believe growing up. They're going to like you for you, and nothing more. Just continue enjoying the conversations you have with her and enjoy the time you spend with her. That's going to influence weather or not she likes you back ten fold over a random gift.
Different things mean different amounts to different people. Some people respond very much to compliments (as long as they are real and not just fluffy flattery.) Some people respond very much to gifts.
I agree that the OP should just continue on conversations.
I do think the right girl would understand the gift of the teddybear so much that she would refuse to take it, saying that it was too meaningful and OP should hold onto it. Not rejecting the gift per se but understanding the value it has to OP and not wanting to take that from him. Personally, I think that a wise, compassionate, gentle girl will refuse the gift because of this. But I don't think it's worth taking the risk to see if she is truly this kind of girl, or whether she would take advantage of the gift.
I have experienced both - people who have refused the gift because it was too valuable, and people who take it but ultimately reject me. Ironically, the refusal of that valuable of a gift was an acceptance and understanding of ME, while the acceptance of the gift was a misunderstanding and rejection of ME.
Either way, it's probably over the top. You don't need to give gifts or fill women with compliments like you're led to believe growing up. They're going to like you for you, and nothing more. Just continue enjoying the conversations you have with her and enjoy the time you spend with her. That's going to influence weather or not she likes you back ten fold over a random gift.
Different things mean different amounts to different people. Some people respond very much to compliments (as long as they are real and not just fluffy flattery.) Some people respond very much to gifts.
I agree that the OP should just continue on conversations.
I do think the right girl would understand the gift of the teddybear so much that she would refuse to take it, saying that it was too meaningful and OP should hold onto it. Not rejecting the gift per se but understanding the value it has to OP and not wanting to take that from him. Personally, I think that a wise, compassionate, gentle girl will refuse the gift because of this. But I don't think it's worth taking the risk to see if she is truly this kind of girl, or whether she would take advantage of the gift.
I have experienced both - people who have refused the gift because it was too valuable, and people who take it but ultimately reject me. Ironically, the refusal of that valuable of a gift was an acceptance and understanding of ME, while the acceptance of the gift was a misunderstanding and rejection of ME.
Oh, gifts are awesome, I just feel they should wait until it's obvious there's a mutual attraction or a mutual interest.. otherwise it just feels forced, y'know?
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If Jesus died for my sins, then I should sin as much as possible, so he didn't die for nothing.