Did people tolerate your awkwardness in college?

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hiiii
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04 Jul 2015, 6:56 pm

For all the people here who were awkward in college, how did people respond to your awkwardness in college? How did they treat you? How were you awkward? Were you a loner? Did you have a good attitude? Were you nice or friendly? Did you tend to avoid people or keep conversations short? How common was it for people to approach you first? Did they still try to talk to you even if you never made an effort to initiate contact with them? If you are attractive, do you think that made them tolerate your awkwardness? Did people of the opposite sex who were interested in you still show interest after they found out about your awkwardness?

After college, what was it like in the workplace?



Marky9
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04 Jul 2015, 10:16 pm

I was a loner, concentrating solely on my studies, so toleration was not an issue. It worked quite well.



izzeme
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06 Jul 2015, 4:52 am

hiiii wrote:
For all the people here who were awkward in college, how did people respond to your awkwardness in
college?

I went to a techy college, so some degree of awkwardness was the norm
Quote:
How did they treat you?

quite friendly, to a point. i didn't get any open hostilities or bullying, outside of the regular pranks (which were played on everyone)
Quote:
How were you awkward? Were you a loner? Did you have a good attitude? Were you nice or friendly? Did you tend to avoid people or keep conversations short?

the normal autistic way: i preferred to do things on my own, appeard to be brooding all the time (even though i only actually was brooding about half the time), small talk bored me (still does)
Quote:
How common was it for people to approach you first?

zilch; since i appeared to be brooding all the time, noone really came up to me unless they needed something from me specifically (mostly becouse i was standing in their way)
Quote:
Did they still try to talk to you even if you never made an effort to initiate contact with them?

those in my social circle (club members) did try indeed, they thought i was lonely and wanted to fix that
Quote:
If you are attractive, do you think that made them tolerate your awkwardness?

i suppose this has played a role
Quote:
Did people of the opposite sex who were interested in you still show interest after they found out about your awkwardness?

well, the first thing they'd notice would have been my awkwardness (well, a portion of it).
however, i cannot answer this since i could not see if they were attracted to me (still can't)

Quote:
After college, what was it like in the workplace?

i am employed by a small ICT business; awkwardness is the norm here too, so more of the same really



nerdygirl
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06 Jul 2015, 5:32 am

I was told straight-up for the first time in college why people found me so weird and/or offensive. I learned which of my behaviors were turning people off, so I did a lot of work in college trying to "fix" those things.

I did OK. Or, I thought I did.

I met my husband in college. But, other than that, there's really only one person I am still in contact with from college. It turned out I had "situationships" with most people, not real friendships. So, while I had a good social life in school and had plenty of people that I had real, deep conversations with, and thought I had good friends, these relationships ended almost as soon as everyone graduated. The other people did not have the motivation to keep the friendship going, even though I did. I'm not sure why.

There were a few people that I just could not get along with, even though I tried. The other person strongly disliked me, and I could never figure out what I was doing wrong.

My main problem in college was being stressed out due to executive functioning difficulties. The lack of close friendships has been with me my whole life. In college, it appeared that the problem had gone away, but in reality it hadn't.



the_phoenix
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06 Jul 2015, 5:43 am

The funny thing is,
college was one place where
I fit right in.
Of course, we had lots of
people there who wore mohawk haircuts
and dyed their hair purple, blue, and neon orange.
And others besides me
who were into practical jokes.


Now before and after college,
that's another story.

...


_________________
~~ the phoenix

"It's the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine." -- REM
.......
.....
...


AspergersActor8693
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06 Jul 2015, 6:41 am

I'm currently in University right now. I am a theatre major, so everyone there is a little off in some way. In other words, they take me as I am. There are only a certain number that I know who I've told the reason I am awkward is because I am autistic.



Kiriae
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06 Jul 2015, 9:49 am

I finished a college (Bachelor's in accounting) and I am currently about to finish a 3,5 year long cram school for adults to get IT Technician diploma.

I get with my classmates quite well. Both in the college and now I am considered an A student that other people can always go to when they need some help. I like sharing my knowledge.

In college I always shared my notes before exams (I had a habit of making slides from my notes because I learned the best this way - and when I had the notes ready I couldn't see why not to send the file on our year e-mail box) and a lot of people wanted to sit around me during exams for some reason. :x It's not like I think cheating is fine but I am the kind of person who HAS TO answer when someone asks me a question. And it was easy to cheat during the exams in our college because exams were in regular lecture room, with 150 students packed together. One of our professors actually openly said that cheating is allowed during his exam - yet 80% people failed his exam anyway. :twisted:

In the cram school cheating isn't possible(sort of - there is always a leak before exams so even if you can't talk/use cribs during exam you can prepare for it in advance) but I help people during lessons and people ask me for tips how to solve the exam leaks.

In short - I am tolerated by classmates because I am useful to them.

Teachers are bigger problem.
For example there was a teacher that used to make fun of my literal interpretations and another teacher used social grapevine to share important information such as pass-fail project instead of writing it down during lessons so I failed her subject badly despite getting an A on the exam because I had no idea we have to make a pass-fail project in addition to attending lessons and passing the exam. Noone told me. :x



BigSnoopy126
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08 Jul 2015, 5:01 pm

I had a lot of encouragement to improve, but I wasn't too bad - I had more of a problem committing to anything becasue I was so uncertain about stuff. I'd answer "It's possible" to just about anything. I was really overwhelmed by trying to take in so many possible reactions
I also stayed in my dorm room to watch games, etc., and my roommate told me how he ws sure people would have lots of fun down in our dorm basement, so I went.
I think they thought I needed a lot of encouragement just because of being legally blind and with possible other handicaps - so it worked out well. But, I mde good friends and keep in touch with one in particular to this day, we talk every few weeks or soemtimes more often. He's amazed by how much I recall, how I can remember specific scenes in college so vividly.
I think sometimes the most important part is finding those people who will encourage you, and staying away from the ones who don't. Becasue, one of my best friends in grade school and high school suddenly went from being a real encourager to a major discourager in oru 20s and it caused real problems. I think I know why, something I didn't consider would be a problem because he never talked about it and I really really didn't understand PTSD then, but he and another friend were robbed at gunpoint once back when they were about 20-21.
But, I don't dwell on my failures anymore, my experience with so many friends who have told me it's possible to take a stand and have helped me has allowed me to become really good at things like calling others when they go through problems, etc.. And, I'm rambling a lot now so I'll stop. :)



dobyfm
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01 Aug 2015, 5:56 am

Yes, they did. I was very friendly to everyone and most people would return the kindness. They knew I was strange, but didn't really treat me any different. . . .