Page 1 of 1 [ 8 posts ] 

superpentil
Sea Gull
Sea Gull

User avatar

Joined: 22 Sep 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 203

07 Jul 2015, 2:23 am

I don't have a lot of time so this will be quick.

I'm wondering if other people come back after being social (wether it be talking to certain people, being outside or whatever some kind of interaction) and being absolutely pissed when you're given a chance to be alone. Right now I want to scream at everything but mostly myself for allowing myself to do something as stupid as socializing and acting and thinking certain ways. Like I've just lost all integrity. At the time I don't know actually what I'm doing and then alone I want to break everything.

Why do I want to know if others experience this? I have no idea. Maybe I don't, maybe this is instead some kind of release becuase that's all I can do and I'm just being stupid. Who knows.


_________________
"Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast."

Your neurodiverse (Aspie) score: 175 of 200
Your neurotypical (non-autistic) score: 37 of 200
You are very likely neurodiverse (Aspie)


izzeme
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 4 Apr 2011
Age: 37
Gender: Male
Posts: 2,665

07 Jul 2015, 8:26 am

I don't get 'angry' as such, but i do feel drained.

My typical response to a sensory overload (which is quite common during social interaction) is comparable to anger, and the method to lower the stress associated with it is similar as well (throwing/breaking things, hitting other things).

It is possible that this is what is happening to you, but you just confuse it with anger



BirdInFlight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?

07 Jul 2015, 9:40 am

I relate to this, and to your comment about being left feeling like you've lost integrity -- I strongly relate because what often happens in my social interactions, is that I have allowed myself to compromise and compromise and compromise things I really wanted to say and things I really wanted to do.

Thus, I come away from the interaction kicking myself about something someone said that I failed to challenge, or something I failed to say when I knew I wanted to, or something I failed to do -- even if it was about cutting short the interaction because I was becoming overwhelmed, and now I'm going to be coping with sensory overload to recover from for the next 24 hours.

So, yes, I come away angry often, and usually I can point to specific aspects and elements of the encounter that are the reason why I'm angry. Often it's "Why didn't I stand up for myself when he said __" "Why didn't I leave when I wanted to?" "Why did I agree to that when that's not how I felt?"

I have spent a lot of my life feeling I have to mask my traits, go with the flow, "fit in" and it leaves me exhausted and feeling very, very, very compromised.



Frey
Emu Egg
Emu Egg

Joined: 7 Jul 2015
Age: 31
Posts: 1
Location: Halifax, Canada

07 Jul 2015, 10:49 am

I definitely experience something similar, especially when I'm interacting with people I don't like or who make me feel uncomfortable or unsafe, and I have to interact in certain ways to almost appease them or hide how I'm feeling.

I also get that feeling a lot more when I'm feeling peer-pressured to act similarly to the people I'm interacting with, for instance, if people are saying mean things or being super negative. I feel like I have to go along with it even though I don't want to then feel like s**t afterwards.

Sometimes I just get that when I socialize too much and am very overwhelmed afterwards.



mr_bigmouth_502
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 12 Dec 2013
Age: 30
Gender: Non-binary
Posts: 7,028
Location: Alberta, Canada

07 Jul 2015, 4:05 pm

Excessive amounts of social interaction piss me off, especially when I have no control over it. Today, I wish people would just leave me the hell alone.



tromboneking
Hummingbird
Hummingbird

User avatar

Joined: 20 Oct 2012
Gender: Male
Posts: 22

07 Jul 2015, 10:35 pm

I can definitely relate as well. I had a roommate the past few months who was ignorant and unintelligent as can be- was getting drunk at almost every chance of free time he got, was bigoted toward women and muslims, etc. What I find comforting is that I most likely will not be seeing them ever again, or for any significant length of time in the future- and this is easy because, well, you've already established within yourself the things you didn't like.

As far as "compromising" goes, I had a realization while I was at a party this Saturday. Sometimes people (especially those that are so-called "neuro-typical") will have conversations and say things that don't necessarily warrant a constructive response. They aren't looking for a challenge or perhaps even something to build on what they said. It is just their "own two cents" and nothing more. Many times it is just "bitching" according to us Aspergians. It is illogical and not good human conversation (perhaps even harmful at times), but I think most of us do it to a certain extent. It is just best to recognize when others and yourself are doing it, and either tuning out to find another topic, or wander off to another conversation. It isn't easy- for me this came with the realization that everything is constantly in motion, including conversations (away from pressing subjects into the innate, and then back again), and that the majority of activity is outside of individual control.



BirdInFlight
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 8 Jun 2013
Age: 62
Gender: Female
Posts: 4,501
Location: If not here, then where?

08 Jul 2015, 5:31 am

mr_bigmouth_502 wrote:
Excessive amounts of social interaction piss me off, especially when I have no control over it. Today, I wish people would just leave me the hell alone.


Yes, the "no control over it" part is seriously my own one-way ticket to a knock-on effect of frustration and even anger later.

My life lately consists of more than one situation in which I'm practically forced into interactions I do not want and did not invite, situations that I previously did not have to have built into my life.

Not just talking about greeting the mail carrier, either, or stuff we all have to just do. Those are part of life for most people.

But I mean situations where other people could and should give a person more space and privacy -- but they don't. I'm having a hard time with it, and it's not being able to choose or control my exposure to that, which causes most of my stress.

Social stuff you've chosen is easier to manage the effects of; social interaction you didn't really have much of a choice about is the one that can cause more problems, in my own case.



Amity
Veteran
Veteran

User avatar

Joined: 22 Mar 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 7,714
Location: Meandering

08 Jul 2015, 6:03 am

Today I am physically tired from yesterdays 'bonding through exercise' activity, but I also have zero patience or tolerance for the same people today. I really, really want to be left alone for a while, its just not going to happen. I'm starting to feel a pressure type of pain in my head each time someone speaks to me (every 5-15 minutes) and I'm feeling very agitated.