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SongAhri
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27 May 2015, 2:54 pm

Hello there everyone!
I'm a newbie here so I'd appreciate if I didn't get picked on, haha :lol:
So yes, I'm a 14 and a half year old Polish girl and I'm sort of frustrated recently.
I'd really like a diagnosis of Asperger's Syndrome, because I obviously just very much relate to the symptoms. I did as much research as I was able to do, and just figured.
I'm only gravely afraid of one thing. Telling my mother and not being taken seriously. My mom is really chill about anything, but as much as I know her she would say "Jesus, you sit in your room all day long and you read stuff on the Internet and you're becoming a hypochondriac like your grandma".
I just KNOW she won't take me seriously.
She will say that being diagnosed with some type of anxiety disorder that made me panic every time I left home because I kept thinking I had to go pee, and quite advanced depression is enough and that I'm making more stuff up to make myself "more ill".
We should be going to my psychiatrist soon, because I was advised to go see her about 6 months after going on medication for anxiety and depression ("Asentra" 50mg a pill a day if anyone is interested).
The easy part is talking to my psychiatrist about it, the hard part is making my mother take it seriously.
How should I prepare? Were any of you in a similar situation? I remind you that I'm just a 14 year old, so sadly I cannot do anything by myself. How should I make my mother take this self-diagnosis seriously?
If anyone wants I can tell you what symptoms apply to me and in what levels.



kicker
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27 May 2015, 3:32 pm

"Mom, I know you may find this silly and you may be right, but I really feel this is important for me, please hear me out and let's discuss it." (Realizing of course hearing you out doesn't mean agreeing with you)

After she picks herself up off the floor, she may still be shell shocked enough to talk about it. :D



Noca
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27 May 2015, 7:39 pm

My advice, have a third party ie the doctoe who diagnosed you explain it to her. I find when I am interacting with a party who is hell bent on ignoring everything I say, using a third party to convey information to them seems to work well.



CryosHypnoAeon
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27 May 2015, 8:19 pm

SongAhri,

Although I'm 38, I'm in the same boat as you.
I listed 11 major symptoms of mine that are VERY autistic yet almost nobody here recognized tjese obvious traits as autistic. Even though they are well known, standard traits of ASD. These are my traits.
Maybe they felt a neef to disagree with the obvious because I'm old, and male.

Getting a diagnosis is a near impossible road to travel. Everybody's against you.
I don't envy your journey. Unless you get lucky with a doctor.

Just be sure of it, know yoursellf, and keep chugging away at it.

Best wishes



kraftiekortie
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27 May 2015, 8:33 pm

C'mon now....not everybody could agree with everything anybody says.

Just because somebody doesn't agree with you, doesn't mean they're inclined towards criticism.

There are some symptoms which could be autistic...or could be something else.

There are some symptoms which very well could be autistic.

Then there are those which are certainly not autistic.

Not every autistic person's symptoms are all "autistic." Autistics have "NT" symptoms, too.

It really doesn't matter whether the symptoms are "autistic" or not. What matters is you evolve from the symptoms.



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27 May 2015, 8:46 pm

I got what I felt was a creditable diagnosis from someone who has known me for 20+ years---we had a few restaurant outings together as well. He decided to get his degree later in life and did his internship at one of those places where the criminally insane get sent to--so I figure he got to see all types of really, really, not NTs in a professional setting. Not official, of course, its not his specialty, now that he is practicing, but good enough for my purposes. A lot of people, including my mother, agree that a diagnosis of Aspergers is accurate.



Waterfalls
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27 May 2015, 8:59 pm

Your mom may not want to label you and may not want to help you label yourself. Maybe you can focus on what to do with the information, like "Mom, you know how hard ___is for me, despite all your help and how hard I try. I've been doing some reading and came across some information about Autism/Aspergers that suggests ___ and it seemed like it might be really helpful for me. I want to learn more because I've been having such a hard time and this makes me hopeful I can get past some of my problems".

Might seem naive to some what I am suggesting, but OP is asking how to get her mom interested, I'm suggesting for that question.



QuiversWhiskers
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27 May 2015, 9:20 pm

Nowadays, I think there is a lot more information out there and a lot more knowledge. At least in the US. I think that a trail has been blazed by ASD women over the last five years and by Tony Attwood and Uta Frith. I think it's easier for professionals to swallow when someone comes to them wondering if they are on the spectrum.

People won't be against you as long as you don't assume offense and are humble about yourself.

When you first read about this and have that excitement finally understanding and are like, "Oh!", you want to perhaps tell everyone and write about it and read about it. I recommend if you can waiting to talk about it much until you've really pieced it all out and have processed it more and analyzed more so that when you do talk to your mom or someone else like the psych you stand a better chance of being able to explain yourself under all that pressure and also so that you can see more clearly and be more rational about it, like let the excitement wear off so you can make sure your perceptions aren't being so influenced by your eagerness. I am not saying you aren't or can't be objective under excitement but I think waiting til the initial excitement wears off will give you more confidence and it will be less hurtful if they deny you or ignore or downplay your opinions. Plus, people see eagerness and are more likely to think you aren't being objective or that you are exaggerating.

Good luck and don't be discouraged. You aren't alone and now that you know about ASD, even if you can't get any outside assistance, just knowing helps. And at least if they refuse to listen to you, you won't get diagnosed and then have your parents say, "Well, now you know you have AS so stop being AS and get over it." That would be really depressing and unhelpful. Sometimes in some situations, it can be better to not have unsupportive parents involved so you can handle things the way you need to and not have someone else giving you unhelpful advice and expectations.


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Cyllya1
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27 May 2015, 10:05 pm

Can you bring it up to your psychologist before talking to your mom? Even if your mom doesn't take you seriously, she will probably take the psychologist seriously.


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SongAhri
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04 Jun 2015, 1:22 pm

Thank you guys so much for so many replies! I don't have time to read them right now, but I surely will before I go to my psychologist for a visit. I'm sure you guys put much useful advice here and I'm very grateful to my fellow Aspies, even though my diagnosis might not come to an effect. I'll try by best to talk to her about it after I read you guys' tips.
Thank you so much again and I'll eventually update you guys after I muster up some courage to talk to her! :heart: :heart: :heart:



SongAhri
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04 Jun 2015, 1:28 pm

CryosHypnoAeon wrote:
SongAhri,

Although I'm 38, I'm in the same boat as you.
I listed 11 major symptoms of mine that are VERY autistic yet almost nobody here recognized tjese obvious traits as autistic. Even though they are well known, standard traits of ASD. These are my traits.
Maybe they felt a neef to disagree with the obvious because I'm old, and male.

Getting a diagnosis is a near impossible road to travel. Everybody's against you.
I don't envy your journey. Unless you get lucky with a doctor.

Just be sure of it, know yoursellf, and keep chugging away at it.

Best wishes


So, do you think I should bravely identify as an Aspie, even though I didn't get a diagnosis? Like when I meet a new person... and they ask me to say more about myself, can I bravely say I have Aspergers? I identify as such. I WANT to identify as an Aspie. I feel like an Aspie. I see nothing wrong with it, but people my age... well... they're judgmental, they'll ask "But were you professionally diagnosed?" if I say no, they will probably be like "then you don't have Aspergers, don't make s**t up." :oops: :oops:



starkid
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04 Jun 2015, 2:54 pm

SongAhri wrote:
So, do you think I should bravely identify as an Aspie, even though I didn't get a diagnosis? Like when I meet a new person... and they ask me to say more about myself, can I bravely say I have Aspergers?

I recommend that you not do that. I would not consider it an act of bravery, and I think that many would agree. You may suffer the stigma of the "self-diagnosed AS trend." If you want people to know about your AS-like traits, just tell them specifically what those traits are.

It's not just people in your age group; most people will probably question people who refer to themselves as having a complex, controversial, and unobvious condition (such as AS) that has not been diagnosed by an appropriate professional.



SongAhri
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04 Jun 2015, 4:12 pm

starkid wrote:
SongAhri wrote:
So, do you think I should bravely identify as an Aspie, even though I didn't get a diagnosis? Like when I meet a new person... and they ask me to say more about myself, can I bravely say I have Aspergers?

I recommend that you not do that. I would not consider it an act of bravery, and I think that many would agree. You may suffer the stigma of the "self-diagnosed AS trend." If you want people to know about your AS-like traits, just tell them specifically what those traits are.

It's not just people in your age group; most people will probably question people who refer to themselves as having a complex, controversial, and unobvious condition (such as AS) that has not been diagnosed by an appropriate professional.


Then, do you think it will be more okay to tell people "... and well I have plenty of AS-like traits, which are (...)"...? :oops:



Waterfalls
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04 Jun 2015, 6:24 pm

SongAhri wrote:
Then, do you think it will be more okay to tell people "... and well I have plenty of AS-like traits, which are (...)"...? :oops:

I would suggest avoiding using any labels and just describe yourself. Maybe if you get very close you could ask what they think since you're wondering, but if you really need to know, you need a professional to evaluate. And even then, there can be doubts.



starkid
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04 Jun 2015, 8:54 pm

Waterfalls wrote:
SongAhri wrote:
Then, do you think it will be more okay to tell people "... and well I have plenty of AS-like traits, which are (...)"...? :oops:

I would suggest avoiding using any labels and just describe yourself. Maybe if you get very close you could ask what they think since you're wondering, but if you really need to know, you need a professional to evaluate. And even then, there can be doubts.


I agree with Waterfalls. Don't bring up your possibly having AS unless it's with someone you trust.



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05 Jun 2015, 8:48 am

Tony Attwood has some rather good advice about this.

You can say, for example, "I'm the sort of person who has difficulty understanding the subtext... I will tend to take you literally and when I am sure you mean something that need interpretation I will often get it wrong."

Or, "I'm the sort of person who tends to do things the same way and I don't always like doing those things a new way."

Or whatever your issues are. You can't go wrong in being fairly specific. If other people want to interpret that, it's up to them.

You also only need to tell people who are going to be impacted in some way by your traits. There is no need to tell everyone.