strang how some people always have something to talk about
Do you sometimes find it odd or strange how some people always seem to have something to talk about? Like when you see some people talk, they can talk all night long and not run out of things to talk about? I've always find that mind boggling- almost surreal because it seems like I always end up running out of things to talk about- at least eventually but for some people, it seems as if they never do.
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James Hackett
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Me and friends can do this, however as a consequence we end up having NOTHING to talk about for extended periods of time.
It's hard to explain.
It's like, I might be able to talk to a friend for 1-3 hours every night for a week, but as a consequence for the next 3 weeks or possibly even the next few months the conversation goes really dry.
For me it's not that I don't have things to talk about, it's that I fail to separate and break up conversation topics into short, realistic burts of time.
It's either I talk about everything under the sun for a long,long time, or talk about nothing fora long,long time.No sense of balance.
However,I still do agree it is very odd how NT's can find somuch to talkabout.Imean,just WHAT are they talking about day-in day-out when they hang out together...?
Small talk......
I can hold up most discussions for at least 4-6 hours unless I'm exhausted like I am today. Even so, I'm still chilling at my friends' apartment. Even in shutdown mode I'm capable of music critiques & EQing...
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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
![Mr. Green :mrgreen:](./images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif)
I think it's also the fact that many people share the same interests, so they won't get in trouble for saying something "personal" (like something weird but not in a scary way) and they're mostly free to talk anything they feel like since they're still in the "normal range" of topics or the "mainstream range" of topics.
Luckily I'm approximately at or around the weirdness quotient of pretty much everyone I know, sometimes that even includes my whole family. I think I derived most of my social skills from winning semantic battles when I have a bone to pick with people trying to take advantage of me. It worked out today and I succeeded in weaseling past a bunch of legal BS using nothing but simple computer science theory, gift economy and mechanical knowledge. That guy thinks I'm a smarta$$ now but I'll probably never meet him again in my whole life.
As long as I'm primed with too much to talk about, stuff tends to go my way.
_________________
"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
![Mr. Green :mrgreen:](./images/smilies/icon_mrgreen.gif)
Yeah it probably has more to do with mainstream/popular interests than anything else - popular music taste, movie, tv, video games, etc.
I think us aspies tend to be into more obscure stuff and as a result have less people who we can talk to it about.
I personally don't ever watch tv nor movies and rarely play video games so that leaves me out of a lot of conversations by default. I love listening to music but certainly not the popular stuff but lesser known stuff. Really narrows it down when you think about it...
I'm exactly the same. I too have very little to say, which is usually interpreted as me either not liking them, or being upset at them.
The only person I have ever had things to talk about for more than a couple of minutes is my mother, and although we can talk at times for a very long time, we mostly just talk a little but very often, and a lot of it will be inside jokes, everyday stuff (like things needing to get done, shopping lists etc) and shared memories.
Online I've only met person I could chat with for a long time (mostly due to the other having a lot to say and talk about and share), but after a while I ran out completely, and never bounced back, which was taken very badly by them. Like I did it on purpose! I'd even warned them it would likely happen, but it was brushed away until they saw it for themselves.
I have no idea how so many people can have so much to say so much of the time. In almost every case I'm out after "hi". The times when I have had something to say, it's been a one off incident, and that is something no one seems to get.
In my case at least, it's not about me not being into popular culture. There are plenty of movies, series, books, games, that I like. I just don't have a lot to say about it, other than I like it.
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The interests thing is just one of many factors.
I've found it's better to listen than talk.
Online I can talk into deep detail but real life I have little to talk about and little interest in conversation.
Many friends I just let them go on, and on and on and ON about whatever they're talking about.
I've learned to be a great listener, or at least great at pretending to listen when I don't actually care.
At least it makes you look more social to at least be a passive conversationist than an active one...
So, next time someone talks, ask them a question about something THEY'RE interested in, and then just let them say as much as they possibly can about it.
i've learned that people LOVE to talk about themselves - use it to your advantage.
Also, because you're a good listener, and because you LOVE listening to their stories, and also listen to them when they are angry or upset, you come across as a caring, empathetic and compassionate friend.
Even if you're just pretending to listen, it will make people feel better about themselves...
i always have thoughts that can easily be converted to words running through my mind regardless of company.
if someone i meet runs out of things to say to me when i am out, i leave their presence and continue on my way.
if someone comes over to my house, i presume it is because they want to say things, so i let them say whatever it is they want to say and when they inevitably run out of things to say, i usually start to talk, and i will remain talking until they wish to leave.
i guess it would be rude for me to tell them that if they have finished saying what they had to say, then they can show themselves out, so i let them sit there and i just start to narrate what i am thinking whether or not it is relevant to them or what they were talking about.
they think i am talking to them because i say it in a way as if i am talking to them, but i am in reality single minded and have my momentum without their input.
i am not able to participate well in reciprocal conversation, and so i excel where i have the "stage to myself" (as it were).
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