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donthaveanickname
Tufted Titmouse
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22 Oct 2014, 8:03 pm

I have moved this post to the work section where it is more appropriate. Thank you. I'm new.



Last edited by donthaveanickname on 24 Oct 2014, 1:49 pm, edited 6 times in total.

VioletYoshi
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22 Oct 2014, 8:09 pm

Why would they mention who is scared of you? Shouldn't the issue be people who claim to be frightened of you need to get themselves straightened out?



donthaveanickname
Tufted Titmouse
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22 Oct 2014, 8:44 pm

One could be forgiven for assuming so, but I am reminded periodically of people who are scared of me who are named and also who remain nameless. Nothing is ever done about it, other than me becoming anxious that people are scared of me. Another accommodation says she is supposed to facilitate three way meetings with staff members who have issues with me or my behavior, in an effort to resolve issues and promote communication and understanding, but this is never done. In fact, when three such staff were made known to me in our last meeting, who were either scared of me or had concerns about interactions with me, she named my behavior as aggressive at the outset, before even asking me anything at all. In fact it was on the paper she gave me, twenty minutes before the meeting (I am supposed to receive advance notice of topics to be discussed at meetings to give me time to proc ess ahead of time; twenty minutes does not cut it for me, but that is just an added layer of frustration for me. At any rate, when she brought these three to my attention, and I almost immediately said that I wanted a meeting with them so we could talk through whatever it was, and even though this is in fact one of my accommodations, she first said she would have to check with HR if that was okay, and when I challenged this, that she would have to consult with the individuals named, and expressed doubt that such a meeting would help. It was demoralizing. Her response is basically that every time anyone tries to talk to me about anything, I get defensive and angry and start talking about how my rights are being violated. It is almost unbearable. I do not do any such thing, for the record. I have done it, but only with good cause, not by inventing something big out of nothing. Which I do not feel I am doing now, either. But maybe I am. Who knows anymore.



kcizzle
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23 Oct 2014, 4:34 am

Not to alarm you, but it sounds like you are being "managed out". You should probably contact your union and see if they could get a representative to attend any future meetings with your boss to ensure there's someone advocating for you officially. The HR department runs for the benefit of the institution you work for so will not be unbiased. It would be worth having a meeting with HR to clarify the exact accommodations agreed on as it sounds like your boss and yourself are interpreting them in different ways.



donthaveanickname
Tufted Titmouse
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23 Oct 2014, 1:01 pm

No need to worry about alarming me; l am already worried about this possibility, and have been ever since she started almost. I know I do need an advocate, or my only other remaining option is filing a complaint with the DOJ. I have the form already. Although I was hoping not to do that, as it will be very awkward and (even more) difficult working there while an investigation takes place. I agree that I need to meet with HR to discuss the differences in interpretation, and am planning to do so in the next week. I am trying to maintain hope that my instincts, and your suggestion, may be wrong and that we can work things out.... but it's been years already and I am losing hope. I am beginning to realize that if there is a resolution to be had, I am not going to be able to achieve it without help. But where to get it I haven't already looked to (psychologist, diagnostic specialist, AskJan, DOJ hotline, HR, and of course uncountable attempts on my part to just try talking or advocating on my own) is a challenge I don't know how to overcome. Feeling a bit lost.