Getting help

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I sent an email to my former therapist last night about how I've been feeling suicidal lately, and she immediately called my dad and stepmom early this morning, and my dad came to my dorm to pick me up and just talk with me. I was able to tell him about how lonely I'd been feeling, how I felt like I just wasn't good enough; that I couldn't be what anyone wanted...and how I'd been feeling hurt by my therapist moving away. We went to a nearby coffee shop and we sat there and just talked for several hours. Then after we'd talked for a long time, we went to a nearby art gallery to pick out birthday gifts for my stepmom, and we found a couple things she'll probably really like. I also found some really soft hand-knit scarves there....it felt really good to cuddle it against my face. I might go back and see about buying one similar to it....having a scarf as a comfort item might be nice.

My dad and I decided that it would be a good idea for me to find a different therapist, because the long-distance relationship I was having with my former one wasn't really working out. I like having someone I can go to talk to in a safe area, in a different environment. Does anyone else feel that way? When I was a little kid, I would go to the principal's office at my special ed school when I was melting down or had just had enough of everything - I liked it there because the principal was really nice about it at first...she'd hold me on her lap and even rock me sometimes, but after I did it a few more times, she said I couldn't come to her anymore. People always said that eventually, it seemed.

Anyway, we're also going to see about getting my medication changed, too....the Prozac isn't working that well, anymore. I liked just spending time with my dad....afterward we stopped by my folks' house just to let my stepmom know I would be okay. My dad told me on the way there that he knew that in the past, my stepmom was in a very stressful position at her work, and would come home and take it out on the two of us; usually me - which led me to feel very hurt and even a bit afraid of her. And in a way, I still am. She was really concerned about me today, but that won't be a "constant"....I just never know how she's going to be, no matter what, even now that she's not in the job anymore.

Anyway, that's what went on this morning...I feel a lot better than I did before, but, you know...it's not as if everything is miraculously okay now. We know what we're going to try next, tho.

I am sorry that you are struggling lately, fair play for being sensible about it and seeking support though.
I liked the safe environment of a therapist?s office too and even though they are paid to listen, it?s nice to talk with someone you can trust. I hope you get to have that again soon,

LtlePinkCoupe, I hope you find a good therapist, too; a good one can really make a difference. It's great that you're reaching out for help and willing to try a new prescription; hang in there!

Are you almost finished getting your degree?

I'm glad your dad was able to come to your dorm, and take you out. It's the "little things" that matter. Not gold watches, not the latest tablet.