Self harming when angry?
I was wondering if anyone else has anger problems and eventually learned not to lash out at other people.
But now i have a problem, instead of lashing out at others i lash out at myself by hitting myself over and over again
until it hurts. I know i shouldn't and i need to express it in another way but i have so much anger when something happens and i don't understand it i snap at myself so its hard to control.
My question is: Do others have this problem i feel dumb and alone.
You are not dumb and alone.
I do this too. And I think you're right that at some point we learned how important it is not to lash out at others, so for some reason we take it out on ourselves.
If I am really angry, I will slap myself against the side of my head, punch myself in the arm, punch the wall. I've slammed my head against a wall a couple times and left a hole in the wall (only have done this twice, and it was after some pretty horrible stuff, so I don't think my reaction was completely out of line). I've scratched myself hard enough to bleed, too.
It doesn't happen too often, but yes, when I'm incredibly angry I do this too.
Sweetleaf
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I sometimes hit walls or other hard surfaces, in fact my hand is still a little sore from the last time...i did hit the wall hard enough to make a little hole . Or sometimes I've hit my head against the wall, which also hurts so I suppose you aren't the only one who has harmed themselves in anger.
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mr_bigmouth_502
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I have a tendency to let my anger bottle up inside, and sometimes I explode. The worst part about it however, is just the pain of keeping it built up inside. I learned at a very young age that it is not socially acceptable to let it out, and that I would face unwanted consequences if I did so, so in a way, it's like I'm mentally self-harming when I'm angry.
Oh yeah, do I ever
I bite myself, punch myself, hit my head against anything, cut myself, kick things.
My meltdowns are not safe for anyone.
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Does CBT help and how come? I think at some point they may be giving me it.
(Don't read this paragraph if you don't like blood and flesh and stuff) I'd cut myself before when angry but it only just broke the skin. One of them a couple months ago was millimetres away from doing some real damage - my cut was huge and yellow and stuff and I needed to go to hospital and get stitches and they almost detained me there
So I moved from cutting to scratching, but I get told off if my mum sees any so now I hit. My right hand is so damn swollen and part of it is blue. Good thing is I have stopped the scratching stim completely.
So rather than just juggle around three things does CBT make you stop?
I have done when angry, but more often when my anxiety acts up. I have scars on my wrists from cutting myself and scratching and picking at the cuts. I've headbanged since childhood and I knew one other autistic girl from my childhood who headbanged. One autistic guy I know scratches and pinches himself. I compulsively scratch and we both have rashes for scratching too much.
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Is your anger caused by sensory issues? That thought just occurred to me because my sensory issues can cause both self-harm and rage (usually not at the same time). If so, learning to manage your sensory issues better could do the trick. I used to think I had "anger issues."
When I get angry I tend to cut myself as well as when I'm sad. It is more likely for people with ASD to harm themselves. Here's a few ideas to stop
When angry, hold ice cubes in your hands
Lie on somewhere comftable and count to a hundred. You won't move until you hit a hundred.
Box. It will let you hit something without any harm being done.
Just a few ideas
Though I want to warn you now I started harming myself about a year ago and I have so many scars on my legs only now using bio oil I can go swimming. Even then I get scared if some body looks my direction. Just a warning what harming yourself can do.
Personally I used to lash out at others verbally. Now I only do it when I need people to stop arguing when I am trying to do something in the same room. Mostly I will just yell a single sentence and calm down again, but the shock tends to shut people up or give them the message that they should take their disagreements somewhere else.
StarTrekker
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I do this too. Whenever I get really angry I'll hit myself in the head, bang my head on hard surfaces, kick walls, beat my legs until they're bruised, and bite my hands and fingers close to bleeding. I try hard not to get this way, and my therapist has suggested colouring books to take my rage out on instead. I tried it once, and it worked pretty well, but I need something stronger than crayons because they snap under the slightest pressure.
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When I was younger and had meltdowns (and I still do), it was mostly just screaming, yelling, throwing things, punching myself, hurting others and breaking things. I would throw up all over. They would last for hours on end and would only stop once I started crying. Once people saw me crying, they knew my meltdown was close to finishing.
When I was about 14, I started scratching my arms, hands, face and head. Every week I'd have a new bandage covering my arm. I was forced to cut my nails and wear gloves. When I was 15 or so, I learnt not to take my anger out on others but have never learnt to not take my anger out on myself and objects though.
Right now, I usually hit my head quite hard with either my hands, with objects or on walls. It's caused so many bruises and cuts on my head. This is my main one at the moment. I feel really embarrassed when I do this in public because people look at me strangely and it makes the situation worse. I'm starting to think I might need some sort of headgear to help me out as I'm hitting my head quite frequently now and I don't think my skull can get hurt any more.
It's quite bad when I'm on a bus or a train as I start hitting my head when the noise level gets too loud and like I said, it embarrassing when people look at you with that weird look. It makes my situation worse, causes me more anger and stress and makes me hit even harder.
I dig my nails in my skin and scratch until forced to stop. I try to control myself as the pain afterwards isn't nice and makes me have more meltdowns. Thankfully, most people around me know when I'm secretly scratching and tell me to stop, which I do.
I pull my hair (which is hard as it's quite short) and have caused a few temporary bald patches.
I bite the insides of my mouth and rip skin off around my nails.
My outbursts are getting worse too because the end of my college year is getting close and it causes a lot of stress.
So you are not alone. In fact, it's silly to think you are alone on this as many autistic people self harm when under stress or are angry. So don't think you are dumb, please don't.
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