Social Skills for an Office
I'm an Aspie who works in an office. I am an accounts payable clerk, and I am paid by an employment agency, but I work at an office at my state government's capital. I've been there since August, and I absolutely love it.
I've been worried a bit lately about how I'm coming off to my coworkers, though. I feel like I've been made friends with a few. I even got invited to a drunken party last week after work. I went and had a blast, though I barely drank. I've been out to lunch a few times with coworkers, too.
I always try to participate in office events when I can. When people greet me, I always smile or say something back. I try to be polite.
Anyone have any other tips for working in an office environment?
One thing that I think is hurting me is that I'm so much in my own little world all the time. If it doesn't directly involve me, I'm usually not aware of it. I think it's rude to eavesdrop on people's conversations, but I'm noticing that people do this anyway a lot. I have no clue when I should do this and participate and when I shouldn't.
Andreger
Veteran
Joined: 2 Jul 2014
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 525
Location: Russia - worst country ever
Be polite with colleagues. However it's okay if you don't like some of them and even softly say about it to your colleague friends.
And try to be good specialist in what you are doing. So even if colleagues will feel you lack social skills they will appreciate you anyway.
I learned a lot from one guy in my current office - he looks like either Aspie or just very-very shy and quiet person though he's confident, polite and gentle. He'd been promoted last week so it works. Don't know if he has friends in the office but he's no way an outcast, I know everybody has good opinion on him.
Has the quieter guy in your office been there awhile?
I ask because I know someone like that, too. He is very quiet, and almost always talks exclusively about work, when he does talk. I like him a lot. He's the programmer for our office. I think he gets by because he's been there so long.
Maybe I just need to be more patient. I'm just worried I might lose opportunities because I'm not super friendly and I have no interest in office politics. It's still a great place to work, though.
1. Never have an office romance. Don't even think about anyone you work with in that way.
2. Never gossip.
3. Treat all of your colleagues, whether above or below you, with respect at all times.
4. Set clear boundaries between your office life and your personal life. Hanging out with your coworkers doesn't mean they're your personal friends. Usually socializing after hours is just for team building or networking.
5. Small talk is a learnable and essential skill. The key to making small talk is to make a person feel like you're having a light personal conversation, when it's in fact very generic and not personal at all.
6. Leave your personal issues at home. If one day you're unable to do this, call in sick for that day. However, if you find yourself calling in sick too often, you may need to re-evaluate your situation and possibly make some major changes. Only at this point, and only if there is some accommodation at work that could alleviate your problem, you should raise the situation with your manager in the most professional manner possible.
7. Never say anything at work that you wouldn't want written, and never write anything that you wouldn't want your grandmother to read.
8. Never argue.
9. Make mental notes about when a person doesn't want to be disturbed, and don't disturb them at these times.
10. Don't ask personal questions directly. Don't put anyone on the spot, especially on skill-based technical issues. Don't talk about your personal health (physical or mental). etc. You get the picture.
Andreger
Veteran
Joined: 2 Jul 2014
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 525
Location: Russia - worst country ever
Andreger
Veteran
Joined: 2 Jul 2014
Age: 36
Gender: Male
Posts: 525
Location: Russia - worst country ever
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