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Katiaflowers83
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03 Jul 2015, 7:30 am

I have this online friend who was always like to me you make my life so happy. You give me a reason to check my stuff online. But suddenly she been treating me different. It started when I said I ate chik fil. She didn't like that and said she wouldn't eat there even if she was starving. Then she started getting mad at me for having trust issues. She gf mad that I didn't trust her. I was saying in sorry and she was still mad. She still talk to me a lot but suddenly stop talking much. She always had a dramatic accuse. I'm sick, I was in the hospital ect. But she was still online. She even made another user name to tell me off. I asked her about it and she denied it and act like it was me. We were talking a lot but now she stopped talking to me for four days she was still online except one day. When I asked her about it she was like I am up all night I couldn't sleep. I finally got mad and told her off. She then started saying she has all this stress and a true friend wouldn't make me feel guilty for not talking to them and understand all my issues. I'm like you didn't tell me what was going on? How can I understand?

Is she playing games? Is she a true friend and I'm just not understanding? Should I just let her go?



JakJak
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03 Jul 2015, 9:09 am

I've had a few like this. It seems that she likes you, but wants you to be who she wants you to be. My advice is to stop trying to talk to her, and wait and see if she starts making an effort with you.



Marky9
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03 Jul 2015, 9:25 am

I guess that would depend on what one chooses to expect from a "true friend". It seems you guys have different expectations of one another.

In any event, it would seem she is saying she needs less frequent contact. This has often happened to me before. What I try to do in such cases is to implement a my-turn/your-turn schedule for initiating contact. That is, if I initiate contact one day, I will not do so again until after she takes her turn in contacting me first. I am usually taken aback by how long it takes them to do that. But in any event I consider myself being a good friend by respecting his/her limits and boundaries.



Katiaflowers83
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03 Jul 2015, 9:38 am

I don't hsve many friends or any at all so I tend to be clingy to the ones I get. I'll leave her alone. I try to give people space but I get lonely.



Marky9
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03 Jul 2015, 9:46 am

Katiaflowers83 wrote:
I try to give people space but I get lonely.


Oh yes, I have a LOT of experience with that, and I know how distressing it can be. If socially smothering people were a crime I would be spending my life in prison. :roll:



Summer_Twilight
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03 Jul 2015, 2:54 pm

I see several red flags here

1. It appears that she has some control issues and can't seem to respect your rights to eat Chick-Fil-A
2. She being dishonest in a passive aggressive manner.
3. Sounds like she is playing the "Blame the victim game" which is never good

I would just leave her alone and if she wants to talk then the ball should be in her court.



Katiaflowers83
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03 Jul 2015, 3:14 pm

I think I also upset her not giving her my address. I only knew her two months. I'm very caution when I get to know people. I've been harassed by people I met online who I gave my address too and number.



MjrMajorMajor
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03 Jul 2015, 7:58 pm

Katiaflowers83 wrote:
I don't hsve many friends or any at all so I tend to be clingy to the ones I get. I'll leave her alone. I try to give people space but I get lonely.


Ditto. At the same time, sometimes I want distance so it seems a no win situation.

Sometimes I feel like people who are friendly distance themselves in an ugly manner. I'm sure I appear that way to others because I tend not to clothe opinions in social niceties.

Bottom line....f#(! me. :?



JakJak
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04 Jul 2015, 7:42 am

Katiaflowers83 wrote:
I think I also upset her not giving her my address. I only knew her two months. I'm very caution when I get to know people. I've been harassed by people I met online who I gave my address too and number.


This generally makes me want to distance myself from a person. I have met very few people from online. Those few meetings have not gone well. I value my privacy, and I'm not very social. I don't like someone trying to pressure me to take things further. I don't know if I'll ever meet another person from the internet, or not. But people need to respect my space and accept my decision, if I don't want to. The harder they push, the less I trust them.



Summer_Twilight
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04 Jul 2015, 8:11 am

I think you did the right thing in protecting yourself by not giving out you address. If you only knew her for two months then I think it was wise only to find out what kind of a person she is. She's a jerk.



Katiaflowers83
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04 Jul 2015, 9:06 am

The sad thing is she seem like one of the nicest people but I guess it takes a while to get to know someone. I'm bad about believing everything someone says.

Thanks for the advice



the_phoenix
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05 Jul 2015, 9:13 am

You say she started treating you differently when you told her you ate at Chik-fil-A. First thing that comes to my mind is that Chik-fil-A is known as a Christian restaurant. So many people are getting in fights these days because people have different beliefs. Maybe she is judging you because you ate at that restaurant. If so, what a shame.

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JakJak
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05 Jul 2015, 7:57 pm

It's not simply different beliefs. Some feel more strongly about this issue than others. I would suggest just trying to talk with her about it, and try working through your differences. If it seems like something that can't be resolved, it would be best to just move on.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/david-bad ... 25237.html



nurseangela
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06 Jul 2015, 1:18 am

I think the friendship is going south. Not a true friend anymore. Way too much drama for a real friendship to continue.


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Summer_Twilight
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08 Jul 2015, 10:23 am

I went to an anime convention at the end of May and roomed with a friend and his two friends and all three opposed going there for any reason. I said I would go there and get a shake.

They said "Well all three of us don't eat there" and took an attitude with me.

I would agree that she's not a true friend she's drama. In fact she's not a friend at all.