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Girlwithaspergers
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21 Dec 2014, 2:13 pm

I have resorted to taping my own mouth shut because I talk too much and it annoys people. I do not have control over this, despite what people think. Is there any other way to shut up? And, no, people will not just accept it.


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zer0netgain
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21 Dec 2014, 2:22 pm

My best advice is to tell yourself again and again that nobody really cares about what you think about pretty much anything.

It's a bit depressing, but it's helped me to keep my trap shut. :(



BetwixtBetween
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21 Dec 2014, 2:52 pm

Would chewing gum slow you down? Or hard candy?

A lot of people don't talk when they've got gum or hard candy in their mouth. Myself included.



progaspie
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22 Dec 2014, 4:07 am

You didn't actually resort to taping your mouth shut, did you, because besides drawing attention to yourself, I don't think people are going to be impressed with you. You said that people get annoyed with you when you talk too much, but at least when you express yourself, you are being you. If you shut up and say nothing, people aren't going to be impressed with you either, but more importantly you are not being you. You are trying to be someone you're not.

How about you just be yourself and engage in the conversation as you see fit. Ok, you don't have the social queues to know when to talk and when to shut up, but you can tell from their reaction if something you say isn't going down well. So learn from your mistakes, what works and what doesn't work. Just being Aspie doesn't mean you can't learn. If you have understanding friends, they will make adjustments for your behavior. And the more conversations you engage in, the better you get. And if your friends keep putting you down for interrupting the conversation, maybe they're not good friends.



elkclan
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22 Dec 2014, 4:37 am

Look up techniques on active listening. These are really helpful to help you engage in a conversation.



886
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22 Dec 2014, 4:53 am

Practice conversation skills. Learn to be aware when you're talking too much and learn when you should instead be listening.

Taping your mouth just sounds silly..


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Girlwithaspergers
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22 Dec 2014, 8:19 am

I really did tape my mouth 2 times at home with my mom.


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kraftiekortie
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22 Dec 2014, 10:29 am

Some people care, some don't.

Do you care about everything somebody says? Think about it.

Please stop taping your mouth shut. Instead, edit your thoughts.

You're a pretty smart person. Use your cognition to determine when you are speaking too much about something.

You're going to make mistakes---but at least you're trying to solve your problem.



eggheadjr
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22 Dec 2014, 11:08 am

I use the three second rule. Before you say something - count to three. Gives your brain time to better process what's about to come out of one's mouth into something a bit more socially acceptable.

I lot of times when I count to three I find myself thinking <why bother?> and end up not saying anything at all. :D


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traven
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22 Dec 2014, 11:19 am

Not the duck tape! (I've got a song for every occasion :) Not Enough Duct Tape In This World



little_blue_jay
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22 Dec 2014, 11:34 pm

The original duct tape proponent - Red Green!


Image



Seriously, I second the 'three second rule'. Many times I've been on the verge of blurting out something that in my head sounded funny but in retrospect would have made me come across as a major faux pas :oops:


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Campin_Cat
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23 Dec 2014, 3:41 pm

eggheadjr wrote:
I use the three second rule. Before you say something - count to three. Gives your brain time to better process what's about to come out of one's mouth into something a bit more socially acceptable.

I lot of times when I count to three I find myself thinking <why bother?> and end up not saying anything at all. :D


I think that's an EXCELLENT idea!! "One one-thousand, two one-thousand, three one-thousand." I'd think that would curb, ALOT!!

The only other thing I can tell the OP, is the trick I use..... I stare-off into space, for a moment----that not only helps you NOT to talk, it also gives you time to gather your thoughts / digest what the person has said.



RhodyStruggle
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23 Dec 2014, 9:05 pm

Girlwithaspergers wrote:
I really did tape my mouth 2 times at home with my mom.


With your mom this might be okay. It's certainly unconventional, but it says pretty clearly "I don't feel comfortable sharing what I'd like to say right now" without actually saying it.

But maybe you could - when you are okay with talking - arrange some other signal with your mom to mean the same thing. Like instead of tape you can just cover your mouth with your hand, and your mom will understand that means not to engage you verbally.

Of course this all depends upon how understanding your parents are. My own parents were not-so-understanding and would needle me relentlessly when I needed to be left alone. They also had the habit of punishing foul language by having the child who cursed put a bar of soap in their mouth. Well eventually I just got to the point where when they would hound at me until I couldn't hold my peace any longer, I would run to the bathroom, grab a bar of soap, come back, stare whichever parent dead in the eyes, take a huge bite out of the bar of soap, spit it on the ground, and then let loose with the angriest, most creative string of profanities I could conjure. But that's probably bad advice unless you want to get kicked out of home like me.


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