I haven't talked to my friend in a while and heres why....

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I have a friend who i haven't spoken to in months, I kinda want to talk to her again, but I feel awkward about it because its been so long. Here are the reasons that I haven't spoken to her:

-She is a nice person, but all she talks about is how she is failing school. Every time we would talk, her sentences would start out with "I'm failing this, I'm failing that", and its getting really old.

-She hangs out with 2 girls who I don't really like and I don't think that they like me either, she hangs out with them more and more ever since their friend moved away

-Whenever we talk, she seems so wrapped up in her own problems to care about me or how I am doing. She never asks about me or how I'm doing, its all about her and her problems.

As a result I met a new friend who I hang out with more and more every day, I don't think she does it on purpose, but I kinda miss her and want to talk to her again. Any ideas on how to talk to her again without it becoming awkward?

This doesn't sound like a healthy friendship in the first place, more like, she got to emotionally unload on you and you were her listener.

If you are really interested in talking to her (or having her talk at you like before), just message her and ask her something like "Hey x, I haven't heard from you in a while. How've you been?" That seems to work for me when I'm in situations like that, because my friendships fall through the cracks easily from lack of contact (usually on my part as an aspie).

it's hard to catch up, isn't it? after so long, but i've found that rekindling it is a bit satisfying in the end, as though you haven't forgotten about each other...maybe not with her, though.

but, it is true^^ it doesn't seem like a perfectly even relationship, she seems a lot more like a 'taker' than a giver, going by 1 and 3.

has she even been doing anything to improve her academic situation? or is she just a moper.

She does go to get extra help from teachers and she does try to do well, but if she isn't talking about how she is failing, its always another school-related issue that I couldn't help with.

It depends on what the person is like deep down. Do they care about you? Are they easy to talk to? Those are the 2 questions.

If the answer is "yes" for both of them, arrange to take her out for a cup of coffee or something and talk to her about this. Maybe she'll change for the better

ah, that's good for her, at least. can't stand those who whine and whine while doing nothing to help themselves.

what kind of issues? it would be a very huge, friendlike favor to help her as much as you can, but then again, there is only so much you can do for her to begin with: she's in charge of her OWN life and her own responsibilities. i wouldn't take it badly if i couldn't help her with every little thing. and it doesn't sound like a very even relationship either like i said since she has been treating you like an outlet for her rambling.

not that i have much experience in this area (the hugest old flame for me is forbidden territory) but if i were to try and talk to her again...i would bring up a really funny memory you two would have together...if there are any. that could get you talking, i think.

If you like her and want to be friends, it's worth moving past this.

If this is mostly what your relationship is about, I say let the friendship slowly die.

But that's a hard choice. I've gone both ways on that, with different people, in the past. Do what's best for you -- she wouldn't want to be someone that is resented (I imagine) for being selfish and a bore. I wouldn't anyway.

I've been a bore (an aspie a bore?!) in the past, and people just told me to quit it. So I did and tried to talk about other things and take more of an interest in them. I'd rather know. Some people would rather not know.

But talking about problems creating closeness, they say (I don't know if it's true), so you could tell her how you feel if you want to keep the relationship, and just stop calling her if you don't.

Good luck. Keep us posted?

Thanks for all the advice everyone! We had a really good friendship going for a while, we hung out a lot last school year and in the summer and everything was fine. But she has been complaining about failing school ever since it started, and then it just went downhill and we spoke less and less.

I am going to email her soon to ask her to get together sometime cuz I miss her and we had a really good thing going and I don't want to just forget about it like its nothing. Its better if I make plans for outside of school cuz now she talks to ppl who I don't really like so its hard for me to join a conversation when they're there.

you're welcome! yes, i think outside of school is best, hope it works out for both o' yall.

and speaking of people whom one hasn't talked to in a while...how is you, anna?

Very busy, and a little sick. But other than that, I'm doing okay

i've been busy too...finals week, track has started again! procrastinating with college..hope ya get better soony