Trouble with others misreading your tone

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After all the studying on people I've done, I'd think I'd have figured this out by now, but do people often misread your tone to mean something you never said? Like if you posted something about a curiosity, and someone saw it as you hating on someone else when all you wanted to know was why something is.
I try hard to figure out the correct words to use to convey the proper meaning, but I apparently keep screwing it up.

Is this about online forums or real life conversation? Either way it happens a lot to me. It's not just the words I use but also my tone of voice and facial expression. People detect sarcasm/anger in my speech when there's none. On WP the same thing has happened before.

It's about both, really, though it's much worse online.
I keep wondering if people are purposefully trying to twist my words, or if I really worded it wrong. It's so hard to tell, and of course whenever I ask for them to clarify, it just makes it worse, haha...

Regarding online things, I think it's a major problem that happens a lot online, yes. I think everyone gets a lot better information on where someone's coming from when face to face in person, even people on the spectrum who may not have the best skills at body and face reading, still will receive a lot more accurate impressions about what a person is really meaning to say if they are face to face with that person, than if they are just reading typed words on a screen.

There is so much that is conveyed by how a person talks about something, the facial expression they have when they say what they're saying, that will show more nuance than words on a screen.

Instead, words on a screen come across with so little nuance of emotional tone that all the strangers reading that can interpret the same sentence a hundred different ways depending on their OWN agenda.

Someone who has taken a dislike to you online will never read anything you type in anything but a negative light, for example, and troll you for it. When, if they had seen the true mindset in which you are expressing the things your're expressing, they would see a whole different tone to your words and where you're coming from.

It's one of THE worst things about online communication, and the problem is compounded by the fact that we're all complete strangers really, and don't know anywhere near as much about each other's REAL personalities, difficulties, stress factors and type of person we actually are, to interpret anything with any degree of accuracy, in my opinion. People take things the wrong way online all the time, and then they become entrenched in how they feel about that person. We all do it to one degree or another but really it all sucks, and it's also the basis of trolling.

Aaaaand......it JUST happened again on another thread, just now.

Wow. I can't post ANYTHING without someone completely twisting my words and managing to find a message in them that I did not even intend in any way, shape or form.

Un-freaking-believable. Sometimes I feel if I just post "I'm having a good day" it could eventually turn into a sh!tstorm of arguments arising from somebody somewhere taking it as a threat or a diss.

Sometimes I seriously consider ending all my participation on message boards.

Don't do that; I don't think it's anything personal. It can be hard to overcome our thinskinnedness at times. But we really like to see you on here so please don't stop communicating...

It depends on which online forum you're posting. Some places are infamous for basically online bullies jumping on anyone who is not in their group of bullies, and anyone who's new. Your best bet is to completely ignore the bullying comments; and if you can't ignore them and it does hurt your feelings, migrate to forums where this doesn't usually happen.

In real life, people often ask me why I seem "confused" and "condescending" regardless of what I actually said (and it's been also known to happen when I was silent and said nothing at all). I guess that it's a combination of facial expression and tone of voice not being correctly matched to what I was feeling or saying.

My constant "screwing" it up is what caused my isolation and eventual diagnosis (10+ years later).

I try to take an impartial view and consider all aspects of the issues questioned but I always get shunned or slated no matter how positive I try to be. Within the first day of being on here I was being called names and accused of things I clearly wasn't doing. I don't care since I've seen this same user fly off the handle at others a few more times since, however I am a lot more reluctant to post than I was upon first joining this community.

Sometimes though after failing to communicate I dumb down my language and it seems to get through better!

The thread about "Invalidation" was an eye opener, especially since I've had a keen interest in NLP for quite a while and this flies in the face of that language structure.

ONE time.

You have some nerve.

You were being VERY clearly provoking, demeaning, mocking, goading and no, not just in the eyes of someone misreading stuff.

I had messages from others agreeing with me that what you were doing, rarebit, was not cool.

Another member even put you on "ignore".

End of story on that one.

And one more thing -- you don't need to "dumb down the language" to post on this site.

There are people on here of extraordinarily high intelligence and levels of education. You haven't been here long enough to even realize that yet, clearly.

Don't dumb down anything for WP members. There are amazing people here and that's not only unnecessary but condescending in the extreme.

Read my edit to my post.

It's not just me who thinks you were way out of line in your behavior on your first day.

And I did not "follow you" onto other threads -- indeed, I've been thinking you've been following me around. You posted about the situation that involved me and thus I'm responding here.

And that is not "following you around threads" because I posted on this thread earlier.

I'm not going to sit here and not say a word to your ridiculous exaggerations.

You're brand new here and already started trouble, and now you are trying to invalidate me and any commentary I make on this issue by picking out today's instance in which I corrected someone who seemed to think I was dissing a film.

Yes, invalidate. You have some nerve posting on that thread too, because that's exactly the game you play.

I have zero interest in "following you around" as it was clear to me from the start that you seem to be a person with a rather mean spirited agenda and that's exactly what I try to get away from both here and in real life.

This is a place where people ON THE AUTISM SPECTRUM often will misread each other. But what you were doing on that first day was hard to misread as anything but a gaslighting attack.

There is indeed an ignore feature, although its functionality is not entire, for some reason.

And you are hounding, exaggerating to bolster your own "case," invalidating and targeting me. YOU attacked ME personally. Or what else do you call the crap you started dishing out with clear glee and mockery?

I hope you're proud of the start you've made around here. Again, it's not just me who feels this way about your shenanigans. One of your earliest posts even said you're bored and "up for a debate" and clearly if failing a true debate, you indulged in a bashing and then had the nerve to say things along the lines of "aw, shall I leave you alone now?" Goading.