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androbot01
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18 Apr 2015, 12:09 pm

Things are pretty good for me these days. My medication keeps me functional, I'm moving to a cool place, employment is on the horizon. And yet I am still fearful and anxious. So much so that my muscles ache constantly and my jaw. I still jump and feel a sharp pain of surprise when something unexpected happens. I still find social interaction hard and tiring. I'd like to be able to wake up and look forward to the day, but instead I just wait for the pain to begin. Maybe I'm depressed. Everything feels heavy, but I'm not upset or crying, just resigned.
Does anyone else feel this way?



kraftiekortie
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18 Apr 2015, 12:15 pm

I know what you mean. I have gastrointestinal symptoms all the time. Anxiety is my constant bedfellow.



androbot01
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18 Apr 2015, 12:21 pm

Me too. It takes so much energy.



MollyTroubletail
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18 Apr 2015, 12:23 pm

Anxiety got so bad that I was afraid to get out of bed or leave my bedroom. I began smoking a bit of marijuana, which cured it.



the_phoenix
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18 Apr 2015, 12:26 pm

Congratulations, androbot1!

Good news about your upcoming job and move ... I wish you much success.

I wish I could move to a small town out in the country,
and my job definitely has its challenges due to office politics,
but meanwhile I'm thankful for what I do have and making the best of things.

And yes, stress and anxiety are a constant battle.
I try to do what I can by
praying
eating right
sleeping enough
exercise ... well, I need to improve on this one
creating art ... I need to do more than I have been
surviving while trying to socialize ... we do what we can, right?

We have to work harder than NTs fer shurr ...
but guess what?
That means we accomplish more when we do succeed.

...


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androbot01
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18 Apr 2015, 12:40 pm

MollyTroubletail wrote:
Anxiety got so bad that I was afraid to get out of bed or leave my bedroom. I began smoking a bit of marijuana, which cured it.

It helps, fore sure.

the_phoenix wrote:
...surviving while trying to socialize ... we do what we can, right?

Thanks!
I am a lot better with socializing then I used to be. It takes it out of me though. It's like the other people's presence overwhelms me. Long after interaction the image of the person and the conversation will still be in my head.



jk1
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18 Apr 2015, 9:32 pm

I feel that way, too, but I have specific causes for feeling like this. I need to take action on the problems but the feeling of pessimism/anxiety/fear/depression is so strong that I can't even start doing the things to improve the situation.



slw1990
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18 Apr 2015, 9:49 pm

I feel hurt and anxious a lot. I get the feeling that most people want to either target me or use me :(. I think it's best to try to find some kind of distraction, but it can be hard.



btbnnyr
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18 Apr 2015, 11:00 pm

This seems like anxiety and depression.
Moving to a cool place of your own and employment are great developments in your life.


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goldfish21
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19 Apr 2015, 12:42 am

Here's your answer:

kraftiekortie wrote:
I know what you mean. I have gastrointestinal symptoms all the time. Anxiety is my constant bedfellow.


And yours, too, kraftiekortie.


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dianthus
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19 Apr 2015, 1:09 am

I feel pretty much the same as you described, but it's no mystery to me why. I have good things in my life, and I know I have a lot to be grateful for. But too many weird things have happened in my life that really f****d things up for me, and it makes me want to go running out in the street screaming like a madwoman. But every day I have to stuff those feelings down and just get on with things because there is not a damn thing I can do about any of it.

Anyway...it's natural for people to feel bad when life is going okay...not unusual at all, actually quite expected...to feel more anxiety and fear of losing what is good, to feel sadness or grief for what was already lost, and to feel pain resurfacing that was suppressed during a more stressful or chaotic time.



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19 Apr 2015, 4:08 am

I do not have employment on the horizon...but things are going alright, there is a good chance of moving in the next month. Me and my brother might get a two bedroom apartment then we can split rent, we get along well and pretty much hang out with the same people. I would likely have to pay more rent than I pay now but I wouldn't have to live at my moms house in the basement with a leaky window. Therapy I go to is going ok except some difficulty keeping appointments, moving my therapy appointments to a new location and might have to switch psychiatrists yet again, I just hope they just keep the same prescriptions going since what i have works ok, though i forgot the mirtazapine for a few days but it does kind of help I am just forgetful/preoccupied I guess.....The new season of Game of Thrones has started, which means I can watch it.

Yet there is an emptiness that is rather painful and I cannot figure out the cause. For instance I've been wanting to move out, even feeling desperate to do so over the past couple years...and now when its very likely I don't really care either way. Also I have a feeling of wasting so much time hoping for things to get better or some crap, years of my childhood getting picked on and isolating. I never really thought to say to hell with it and express myself regardless of what they think and confront people. It is still hard to do that even though I am not stuck in the same room with people who dislike me usually, though I do end up in the same room as people pissed off at each other more often than I'd like.


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em_tsuj
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19 Apr 2015, 6:42 am

I can relate to the depression, not really the anxiety. My anxiety never got that bad unless I was going through nicotine withdrawal. I was diagnosed with generalized anxiety disorder and prescribed medication. It works. My anti-depressant medication works in the sense that I am not crippled by depression, but I still have a lot of negative thinking and every day have thoughts of wanting to die. I guess you could call that feeling resigned. I wish my brain didn't create all this pain.



hurtloam
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19 Apr 2015, 7:08 am

I understand what you're saying. When I'm stressed or have to deal with people I get pain as well. It's unfortuante because I think adrenaline is supposed to give us a fight or flight response, move us to action, but I just seem to shut down and get pains all over.

The way I've found to counteract those symptoms is to spend time doing things I enjoy to change my focus. I have quite sedentary hobbies, but they make me happy. Although going for a walk is also good. Getting out the house and changing my surroundings for a bit.

You might be feeling anxious about your move and new job, that's natural. Once you've got into a routine in your new circumstances in a few months time you will possibly start to feel less stressed.



Transyl
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20 Apr 2015, 5:53 am

For me it's because I can't communicate and connect with others even close to how I want to. Well, there are more factors, but I think they all tie into that in one way or another.

I'm sorry it hurts so much. It hurts me a lot too.



jayjayuk
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20 Apr 2015, 9:25 am

kraftiekortie wrote:
I know what you mean. I have gastrointestinal symptoms all the time. Anxiety is my constant bedfellow.


This is probably one of the worse symptoms of anxiety. As soon as I'm anxious my food just wants to come straight out the other end .,. even if it hasn't digested properly!