I don't know what I did wrong
There's a kid at my school, a couple of years or so below me. He's super quiet and I guess shy, too. I've only ever heard him speak once and he always has this piece of technology with him, like a miniature laptop but ultra tiny, even smaller than a netbook or a notebook computer and is alone most of the time. He even has it with him at meal times (breakfast, lunch and dinner) and is always focused on it intensely, so is by himself then too.
Today, I worked up the courage to approach him to ask him what it was out of curiosity because I'd never seen anything like the piece of technology that he had before and tapped him to ask him what it was. When he turned around and I asked him what it was in sign language (I attend a boarding school for the deaf where most of the students can speak British Sign Language and I usually can't speak using my voice to people that I've never spoken to before), he legged it as fast as he could to the other end of the corridor and didn't take his eyes off me. He backed away even more when I stepped away and signed to him that I was sorry, and wouldn't stop staring at me until I was a good distance away from him. My anxiety levels shot up and spent most of the rest of the day with my hearing aids turned off, not speaking and stimming afterwards. I'm feeling a bit calmer now but I'm playing a song on repeat.
I don't know why he did that, whether it's down to my own actions, the way he is (it might be to do with cultural background - he's Japanese and can speak English - but I'm not too sure) or both. He's also bigger than me. Though, I'm sure it's to do with how I come across since my autistic traits are often pretty obvious without my realising (lack of face expression, monotone voice, lack of eye contact, toe-walking and not swinging my arms when walking etc). I'm also very shy and often find it very difficult to approach people. I don't know. I'm just confused and bemused by it all.
I can't imagine you did anything wrong. Sounds like he's just really scared. Maybe you can write him a note and say you are sorry you scared him and just wanted to ask about his device.
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"I'm bad and that's good. I'll never be good and that's not bad. There's no one I'd rather be than me."
Wreck It Ralph
Those are translators - since he's Japanese, I'd guess it's a relative of the Sharp Zaurus or something from the likes of Casio or Fujitsu; usually 1-off Linux powered, some of them have extra functionality.
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"Standing on a well-chilled cinder, we see the fading of the suns, and try to recall the vanished brilliance of the origin of the worlds."
-Georges Lemaitre
"I fly through hyperspace, in my green computer interface"
-Gem Tos
I wonder sometimes if it's the sign language.
I use sign language too and occasionally I've gotten a similar response to the one you described. I suppose it can be a bit daunting to have someone come up to you out of the blue and start waving their arms around, especially if the person's really shy.
Just a few things to file for next time:
1) Did you introduce yourself first?
2) Maybe your expression was a bit off - this happens to me. I find it hard to get the expression right and it feels forced which can alter how you come across. What I think of as 'lack of expression' can come across as hostility to some people.
3) I try to sign with smaller movements to someone I know is timid.
4) He obviously has his own issues which contributed to his reaction.
5) Try not to dwell on it. These things happen when you have multiple communication issues. Give yourself a break.
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It's like I'm sleepwalking
StarTrekker
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Me too. It's the reason I sometimes wish I were lower functioning, so I could get away with acting like that without anyone thinking I'm just a tool.
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"Survival is insufficient" - Seven of Nine
Diagnosed with ASD level 1 on the 10th of April, 2014
Rediagnosed with ASD level 2 on the 4th of May, 2019
Thanks to Olympiadis for my fantastic avatar!
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