How to make her chase me again?

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Kyuubi
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18 Apr 2014, 3:51 pm

It's an online relationship. I just don't feel like things are the same!! I think it's because she knows I love her so she stopped chasing me. But I loved it when she was. She would text me all the time and say the nicest things and make me feel really special. Now it feels like I'm the one chasing her. It's just not the same!! She also said that her grandma died so maybe that's something to take into consideration? I'm so upset!!



kraftiekortie
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18 Apr 2014, 3:53 pm

LOL....It's better if you let her do the chasing. Girls/woman hate it when a man seems desperate. I'm sorry for her grandma's passing away.



Kyuubi
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18 Apr 2014, 3:58 pm

Exactly, Idk how to turn things around.



Hopper
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18 Apr 2014, 4:42 pm

Don't. Her Grandma just died. That's not a good time in anyone's life for someone who says they love them to try and get them to 'chase' them. She doesn't need you playing games that way. Do you love her, or did you just want to tell her you love her?

Consider: how long was she interested before you said you loved her? Has she said or hinted at reciprocation? When did she change in relation to that? When did she change in relation to her Grandma dying? If it's not in relation to that - and either way, let her be a while - but if it's not in relation to that:

She may have wanted you to say something like that, then when you say it, theshe n realise that's not quite what she wanted. One of the oldest stories: person gets what they thought they wanted. Turns out they didn't want it.

She may be overwhelmed by your saying such, and so shrink away. It is a big, big thing to say.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Kyuubi
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18 Apr 2014, 4:47 pm

Precisely why I waited for HER to say "I love you" first before I did. But maybe she is getting bored of the relationship. Maybe I am smothering her :(. That's not what I wanted! How do i fix it before I completely ruin it?! :cry: :cry:



Hopper
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18 Apr 2014, 5:13 pm

You know her, and the precise details of all of this - we don't. You'll have an idea of the level and intensity of contact there has been til now. When did her Grandma die in relation to her 'changing'? Perhaps her Grandma was ill, and this was worrying her?

So, she said she loves you? How quickly did you say it back? How long after this did she change?

Just be consistent and caring. Don't see-saw, going hot/cold. Don't try and get her to chase you. Not because it might backfire or won't work, but because her Grandma died and you love her. So, be loving. I think being supportive, or just offering to be supportive, is good. Trying to push her into responding (indeed, chasing) is, frankly, not very caring or supportive, and not likely to be what she needs right now. I know how easy it is to panic. Try not to, or at least to not give into it.


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Of course, it's probably quite a bit more complicated than that.

You know sometimes, between the dames and the horses, I don't even know why I put my hat on.


Cafeaulait
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18 Apr 2014, 7:06 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
LOL....It's better if you let her do the chasing.


No. Not all the time,



DukeJanTheGrey
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18 Apr 2014, 7:26 pm

Leave her be and stop trying to dictate and manipulate people.