Is it plain neurotic?

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I am acutely uncomfortable when people grant large favors. I do everything I can to operate independently. I'm not unappreciative when it happens, but there's this huge weight of expectation tied with it.
I feel and express gratitude, but it becomes tangled in resentment when I feel (imagine?) that expectation--be it fawning over the person, groveling properly, or something else entirely.

Anyone dealt with this one? Objectively, I'd say I'm worrying over nothing. Perhaps I'm missing something?

ben franklin said it best- "neither a borrower nor a lender be."

Sage words. The decisions aren't always in my hands though, which adds more awkwardness.

I find an advantage of residing in the "uncanny valley" of aspiedom is that I seldom find myself in those situations. god willing.

Someone once me flowers out of the blue, and I didn't know how to respond. A friend told me something that he was taught was that his only social obligation is to say "Thank you". So I usually at least try to give a sincere and heartfelt "Thank you!"... and then shut up.

I find people helping can make me feel far less independent, something that is extremely important to me. Its like they are implying that you can't or should not do something so they will help. I have had people hold their help over me many times so I have learned simply to refuse anything financial and be very selective on the types of favors or gifts I accept. Many people will think they own you if they help you enough, I make sure and make it clear that no one has that right over me. Some mean people will try to almost profit off of you in weird ways. Some genuinely care about you and simply want to partner with you and that's great, still I am a bad gift receiver.

If you mean being both thankful and resentful over being helped, i feel that way a lot.

If anyone does anything for me, I instantly feel like I have to do something for them. Which is wierd as I'm quite a generous person myself, and I never want anything back.

I guess I'm a hypocrite to myself lol.

I'm not really used to people helping me.

A stranger once helped me when I was lost, that was nice.

She gave me a cup of tea and a sandwich and helped me get home, but I don't think that, that is what you mean.