He is SO loud!

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My nephew is so loud. His normal speaking voice is well over 100 decibels.

This means, to be around him, one is actually damaging their own hearing.

How can I either get over this or convince other people to care? I use earplugs, but he is still too loud. We usually see him at my parents' house when I have my kids, too.

My mom built me a room I can go to when I get overwhelmed. BUT, I need to parent my kids, too! And I want to see everyone else, too! That's why I went over in the first place!

I've been taking to my family about it for years. I've shown them decibel meters, trying to say, "it's not just me...this actually harms us all". So, it's not just a matter of taking to them.

No.one.cares.at.all

So, I probably just have to get over it and start avoiding my family, right?

For years, I've been around less and less when he is there because no one care to correct the behavior.

I don't think there is really anything I can do. I guess I'm looking for emotional support that it's really hard or near impossible to function properly in a constantly loud environment.

How old is your nephew? Does he go to school? Even though no one in your family seems to care, it seems as though this is a behavior that your nephew may want to work on for the future.

He's 9. He goes to public school.

Record him & play it back. First & foremost he's hurting himself, not only his ears but vocal chords too. I know this well, as I'm considering getting into REALLY loud metal/punk vocals. I have crazy tinnitus already from going to so many shows...

Why is he so loud? Does he have a hearing impairment? Does no one listen to him?

A lot of kids get loud when they're excited. Visiting relatives probably qualifies as an exciting event for him, even if he does it fairly frequently. His parents should be teaching him to pay more attention to his volume, though. Other people probably do find him irritating, just not as much as you do.

My ASD kid (8) is also really loud. He seems to have no ability to regulate the volume of his voice. He can be "not too loud", but not consciously. He also has a really hard time regulating his emotions and energy level. The doc said it was all part of his ASD.

Is your nephew NT? Is it possible he has ADHD or ASD? I totally sympathize with you, but maybe your nephew really can't help it. It may not be a bad parenting issue or other adults not caring about how it affects you. I consistently try really hard to get my kid to take it down a few decibels, but he (at this time) is not able to grasp it.

He is NT.

This situation isn't like yours. I can relate to feeling bad when people say it's a parenting issue when I am trying really, really hard at correcting something. And it just isn't easy and I want credit for what I am doing.

This isn't like that. I honestly wouldn't call it a "parenting issue" per se, because it doesn't relate to morals in any way. He isn't being "bad".

...but truly, his parent do not care one bit. It doesn't bother them remotely, so they do nothing about it. I'm not judging them for that, quietness is just something they don't value. However, it *does* cause problems for me.

That's too bad that they are not making any effort to try and make accommodations for you. If they know it causes you great discomfort, and it is as easy as them asking their child to please be mindful of the needs of others by lowering his voice, then they are not being nice.

I'm 17 1/2, HFA diagnosis, and it's hard for me to control my volume unless I am in a classroom or library setting. My voice is always quite loud when I talk to someone and it has been this way for many years. So it's not only an NT trait with excitement...and I have seen that WAY too many times going through elementary and middle school. My voice is usually not 100dB, but I get in the 80 range quite often, sometimes 85. Yelling voice can be higher.