I feel like she doesn't really want to do stuff with me
I have known this girl for a year now, and I really like her. She is really nice and this past school year she invited me to have lunch with her and the rest of her group of friends, and I became part of the group for the rest of the year. Other than this and when I met her, there was only one other time we did something together. Now about 3 weeks ago we finally did something else and for the first time in five years I felt like I had another real friend. I asked her if she needed help on her last test, and she said yes. I helped her and we ended up going to a restaurant too. It made me feel that she liked me a lot too. When I told her I was going home now, she told me to keep in touch. 3 weeks have passed now, and I feel awkward and bad that she hasn't texted me since. She seems to really like me though because one time I didn't show up at lunch for two days and then she texted me asking where I was. She was also really thankful that I helped her for the test, and that just seemed strange of her. I just don't know what to do in these situations because it makes me feel like the person doesn't like me enough to keep talking to me like they do with other people. I get skeptical and feel like I might've done something wrong. I am really tired of being the one that continues the relationship. This happens to me with a lot of people and I don't know why it's always me that has to keep talking to them. It always seems that nobody wants to keep talking to me unless I start talking first. What could it be that they seem to like me but don't want to stay in touch?
nerdygirl
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,645
Location: In the land of abstractions and ideas.
It sounds to me that when she said, "keep in touch", she was saying it was your turn to make the next move.
It's possible that she also doesn't know if you like her or if you were just trying to help.
I know it stinks to always have to keep a friendship going. That is the story of my life. It is exhausting. But with the right people, it is worth it. A lot of times, it is necessary at the beginning of a friendship. I can't explain why it seems to always be "on me" to get a friendship going. But if you really like this girl, keep trying. She doesn't dislike you!
Invite her to do something fun.
Don't give up so easily.
Try to text her again, try other ways too. There are lots of legitimate reasons she could have not texted you back.
It sounds like she is at least interested in a close friendship.
_________________
So you know who just said that:
I am female, I am married
I have two children (one AS and one NT)
I have been diagnosed with Aspergers and MERLD
I have significant chronic medical conditions as well
It's possible that she also doesn't know if you like her or if you were just trying to help.
I know it stinks to always have to keep a friendship going. That is the story of my life. It is exhausting. But with the right people, it is worth it. A lot of times, it is necessary at the beginning of a friendship. I can't explain why it seems to always be "on me" to get a friendship going. But if you really like this girl, keep trying. She doesn't dislike you!
Invite her to do something fun.
I met with her again at our graduation just by coincidence and we stuck together until it was over. Some of her relatives flew over to see her and I don't want to interfere. I don't know what I should do next. I feel awkward asking if she wants to go do something, because I don't have a car so she would have to come pick me up. She doesn't mind but it still makes me feel weird. I also don't know what to invite her to. She likes music but I would like to do something that makes more interaction between us.
nerdygirl
Veteran
Joined: 16 Jun 2014
Gender: Female
Posts: 1,645
Location: In the land of abstractions and ideas.
It's possible that she also doesn't know if you like her or if you were just trying to help.
I know it stinks to always have to keep a friendship going. That is the story of my life. It is exhausting. But with the right people, it is worth it. A lot of times, it is necessary at the beginning of a friendship. I can't explain why it seems to always be "on me" to get a friendship going. But if you really like this girl, keep trying. She doesn't dislike you!
Invite her to do something fun.
I met with her again at our graduation just by coincidence and we stuck together until it was over. Some of her relatives flew over to see her and I don't want to interfere. I don't know what I should do next. I feel awkward asking if she wants to go do something, because I don't have a car so she would have to come pick me up. She doesn't mind but it still makes me feel weird. I also don't know what to invite her to. She likes music but I would like to do something that makes more interaction between us.
You could say something like, "I think it might be fun to do something together, but I don't have any ideas. What kinds of things do you like to do?" That leaves it wide open for her to turn you down or offer some suggestion.
I have one activity suggestion. When the weather is nice, I think miniature golf is a no-fail fun time. I do not know a single person who would not find that fun. It allows for some talking, but not straight talking the whole time. People can "be themselves" - some are goofy, some are very serious when they play. And it is not outrageously expensive.
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