Coping with invasion of personal space when stimming

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Recently I've been experiencing problems with my son stimming. If he is not sat in front of a screen, which I try not to allow too much of, he stims. Solitary stimming is fine with me, however, he likes to do it in a way that invades my own personal space. He will flail and squirm and poke and hit me continuously for minutes. He usually does not stop when first asked. Being a sensitive person myself, especially to touch, while this doesn't hurt me, I have a very hard time coping with it as it continues through an entire day. The attitude of my husband and some of his relatives are that as my son is nine and just releasing his energy the only way he knows how, I should just suck it up. He does not often behave this way towards anyone other than me. Does anyone else have problems with this? I don't know how to intervene appropriately.

One of my son's stims is to squeeze my right upper arm REPEATEDLY. He squeezes and releases, squeezes and releases, squeezes and releases, ad infinitum if I would permit it. I can't because it is extremely painful to me when he squeezes me (he is remarkably strong !)

I noticed that he tightens and releases his own body as he squeezes and releases my arm, so I got him a squeeze / squishy ball that seems to give him the same deep pressure input he craves from going after my arm. It has helped a bit, but he still comes after me, though not to the extent he used to, before.

Your relatives have no right to tell you how to deal with your son or cope with his behaviors. My only suggestion is to find alternative things to poke & hit, such as a punching bag or even a soft hammer against a hard surface to release some of his "energy" / aggression. He may be 9 now, but he won't stay 9 for over and you don't want a 6-footer trying to poke and hit you because that is how he calms himself. I have this same worry because my son is already tall for his age (4 almost 5) and his father & my brothers are all tall men, so I know he will be at least 6-2, as an adult. I am not at all looking forward to having my arm squeezed by my 6-2 son as his stim of choice. If it hurts now when he is 4, it will finish me off when he is 18.

Good luck !

Hi, I'm just new here but thought I'd say I understand. My son is 6, and goes in repeated circles in the living room, throwing himself into the couches. We normally just stay out of the way but the other day I was sick and just wanted to relax on the couch, he drove me nuts! He had no idea why I was upset though. In the end his sister saved me and took out to hit the ball - a ball on a string, he hits it round in circles for ages. If only he wasn't too scared to go alone, it would be the perfect solution.

Squidgy goo toys might help your son? They might feel like a body to poke and squeeze. You can make one with borax and things, put into a film canister...

Yes my daughter does this! It really wears on me. If she is interested in something, no problem she sits still. But if she is bored or overstimulated she writhes and squirms everywhere with zero regard for others. She is extremely smart and when I ask her about it or ask her to try to cool it down, she has no idea what I'm talking about. I think she either doesn't know she's doing it or has no idea to what degree she's doing it. I mean she seriously needs a radius of about 8-10 feet around her because of all the contorted movements she makes. Imagine someone really truly has fire ants in their pants and they're trying to kill them by hopping, jumping, wiggling, rolling, stretching, flapping... anything. It's like some kind of ongoing interpretive dance.

The only thing we have found to work at all is to have her try to sit on a balance ball, but it only helps as long as shes trying to sit on it.

My son does the running up and down stim as well. Circuits from the front door to the TV in the sitting room over and over. When I've got the energy we do the 30 day shred together which he really loves, my four year old has abs . His other one which drives me mad is the digging toes when co-sleeping. He always finds a warm body and digs his toes into a soft spot or tries to mount your face For this, we wrap him tight in a duvet which seems to calm his limbs and help him fall into deeper sleep. Epsom salt baths (radox ones for me in the UK) also help with the restless legs.