Teenagers & correctional options

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LittlePigLocksmith
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23 Apr 2014, 6:17 pm

So, I wasn't sure if I should post this here or in the "school" category. This seems like the place to put it though. I'm 16 years old and have found that I always get along better with adults (especially seniors) than people my own age. I've only had two real "bosses" in my life and both of them were cool old guys who served in Vietnam.

While I get along great with my teachers and have an excellent relationship with my principal (a former policeman who every other student seems to have issues with) I generally can't stand teenagers. I mean, there are a few who seem relatively mature, but most are just rude and unreasonable. A few have proven to be extremely confrontational.

Consequently, (while I enjoy speaking with the staff at my school) I rarely speak to other students. Now, normally this would be perfectly fine. After all, that's how it's been for most of my life. However, next week we're going to start doing "team building exercises" that will continue for the next six weeks.

So, I was hoping you could give me some advice that would keep me from losing my mind when I'm forced to work with them. It's a behavioral classroom and a lot of the students are still going through that "gangster" stage that most boys outgrow after middle school. Most of the girls are just here because of drug issues, but some of them pick fights occasionally... is there anything I can do to discourage that type of behavior in my group?

edit: I'm posting this while I'm in class.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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23 Apr 2014, 11:26 pm

I'd think about running two tracks.

One, be open to being a low-key and understated coach to some of the other students on an occasional basis, without making a big deal or bragging about it in any way. Okay, some of the other students are immature. So be it. You can't hurry growth. It takes place at it's own pace. Just try to be matter-of-factly appreciative of small improvements without over-acting or being phony. Maybe take a page from one or both of those two bosses you've had. And be prepared if someone levels the accusation at you that you haven't been involved in the class. Maybe just something like, 'I prefer doing my own thing. I just prefer doing my own thing.'

Two, see if you can transfer out of behavioral class and into one or several other classes for the balance of the year. And take a page from negotiation guru Herb Cohen. Often it's precisely good negotiation to have someone else negotiate on your behalf. I mean, presidents and prime ministers do this for crying out loud. So, maybe see if you can have a parent or psychologist or counselor or other advocate get you into another one or two classes.



unit_00
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23 Apr 2014, 11:39 pm

AardvarkGoodSwimmer wrote:
One, be open to being a low-key and understated coach to some of the other students on an occasional basis, without making a big deal or bragging about it in any way. Okay, some of the other students are immature. So be it. You can't hurry growth. It takes place at it's own pace. Just try to be matter-of-factly appreciative of small improvements without over-acting or being phony. Maybe take a page from one or both of those two bosses you've had. And be prepared if someone levels the accusation at you that you haven't been involved in the class. Maybe just something like, 'I prefer doing my own thing. I just prefer doing my own thing.'


i typed out a long message but i think this is much better advice. :lol: i think if you go into this with the mindset of how everyone else is immature and dumb, i think you give out signals, and people get defensive real easy. people are people, everyone is generally trying their best in their own ways. always keep that in mind. :P



LittlePigLocksmith
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25 Apr 2014, 1:51 pm

I have to do the team building exercises with the behavioral class before I'm given the option to enter other programs at this school. I'm seeing my counselor today though. I can ask her for advice. I think track one is more likely to work than track two though.

Thank you very much for replying. Any more advice would be appreciated.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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25 Apr 2014, 6:53 pm

You're very welcome. I hope it helps.

I'll put on my thinking cap and see if I can come up with anything else.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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26 Apr 2014, 4:13 pm

I once started a journal with:

'I wish the movers had been more responsible.'

You see, I didn't slam the movers as hard as I could. They had not given me back the map of my new apartment complex with the access code to the gate written on it.  I thought they were probably honest, but I didn't want anyone else to see this.  Now, I could have made a point to remember to ask for it.  Better yet, I could have just met them at the gate and not given them the code at all.  So part of this was that I didn't slam myself as hard as I could.

And sometimes, I might just write a couple of sentences in the evening or morning. Like in art, less is sometimes more.



AardvarkGoodSwimmer
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26 Apr 2014, 4:24 pm

And be open to adding free positives, yes, during uncertain times, perhaps now more than ever.

For example, if you've thought about learning the guitar, now might be a good time.