Pragmatics and things that are not explicitly stated

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I've put a lot of thought into how I am with pragmatics (non-verbal communication).

I have a very literary mind so I understand word play very well. I understand metaphors, idioms, puns, sarcasm, irony, innuendo, satire, double entendres.

I have more trouble with teasing and facetiousness, because the words seem to mean exactly what they say. And when I do catch on, I have trouble determining if the intent is playful or hostile.

But aside from that, I generally pick up on it very easily when a person doesn't mean exactly what they say. I may or may not understand exactly what they do mean, but I notice it doesn't match.

Here's the actual problem: no matter how well I understand the implied meaning, often I just don't know what to DO about it. I don't know how to address it or how to respond to it. It puts me in a brain freeze.

I actually feel like I can't say or do anything, until the real meaning has been explicitly stated by the other person. Until they SAY WHAT THEY MEAN.

Sometimes I figure out much later what I should have said or done. But in the moment, I have no idea.

My experience is kind of similar in the beginning.
I use my rational thought to determine if the person is actually saying what they mean or not. If I detect enough significant logical inconsistencies, then I have to conclude that they can't really be saying what they mean. In that case I most often do nothing until either they decide to provide more and better information. I continue doing what I deduce as correct until that point that an accurate correction can be made.
I have tried asking people to clarify what they mean in the past but it most often seems that they have a very powerful mental block that prevents them from giving me the straight truth, or all relevant facts. I think it's some type of power-play on their part, - a manipulation.
I've been conditioned to think that there is no use in asking anymore.

Sometimes the result is that the person thinks that I ignored what they said or requested of me because I did not modify my behavior yet.
I do allow people to manipulate me so that I modify my behavior, but the information has to be consistent and make sense.

I think this process on our part is due to what I describe as inhibitions, - certain functions inside the brain that interrupt other functions until certain conditionals are met. A friend tells me that this effect is likely due to our lack of pruning of neural connections. I think that is a reasonable possibility.

Facetiousness is great; it's probably my favourite type of humour.

I wasn't always like that, so I'm not quite sure where I picked it up from. The internet has played a large part, but don't think it's just that. I'm British, and British people have a reputation for dry humour and not taking themselves too seriously. Obviously not all Brits are like that, but I know enough who are that it's rubbed off on me, I presume.

I usually mean it in a playful sense. Though I have occasionally been known to take the odd sly dig...

This happens to me, quite a lot. I recognise it, know roughly what it means, but have no accurate idea how to respond in a manner that isn?t perceived as superficial by the person I?m speaking with, if that makes sense?