Aversion to opposite sex normal? Plus random rant/questions

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D0gbert
Snowy Owl
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24 Oct 2014, 8:15 pm

I pretty much think this is probably bang in the middle of the bell curve for most aspies. I find the same sex hard to understand, so the opposite one is even more alien to me. How did anyone else get over this?

I am getting quite self-concious lately and noticed how... ludicrous I must look. I can talk (relatively) normally to guy mates, and when a girl turns up, I start stuttering. Definitely nervous, even around people I trust more.
The fact that I fancy her (do I really though...) probably does not help, but I had observed that I do that almost with all girls, though to a lesser degree... but note that family members and much older females do not trigger this.

Also, I found that I observe people. Perhaps too much. I used to think it is from my days from watching animals and studying them (my zoology degree probably reinforced this), but lately I noticed that I recognise certain patterns, be that gestures, written communication, choice of clothing etc of people. Is that the obsessive thing aspies have trouble with?



Grayfolded95
Emu Egg
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11 Nov 2014, 10:23 pm

I know how you feel. I spent my teens avoiding contact with the opposite sex because of my social anxiety and now I feel somewhat clueless about what to do or say when talking to women. I know it's silly because they're just people of course, but the anxiety is there nonetheless. I guess the only way to fix this is to just start talking to them more and over time you will start to develop the skills and realize it's no big deal.



Mitrovah
Deinonychus
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13 Nov 2014, 6:44 pm

I'm attracted to women, but repulsed by the type of women who seem to be attracted to me: weird, unattractive if not clinically bat s**t crazy.



FireyInspiration
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14 Nov 2014, 1:37 am

I'm actually able to talk to women pretty well, but only on a platonic level



andyfzr
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17 Nov 2014, 2:21 am

Same here, Ive always gone completely quiet and as shy as a kid when around women especially the more pretty they are. i desperately crave a girlfriend but I cant even talk to them. I can't cope with being around girls in general for this reason. As you say, the ones that do seem interested in me just don't interest me and the ones I find attractive barely look at me. As soon as I get close to talking to girls my head starts spinning with thoughts that they think I'm weird and don't really want to talk to me. I know its in my head but I cant deal with it.



Butterfiend
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17 Nov 2014, 7:22 pm

FireyInspiration wrote:
I'm actually able to talk to women pretty well, but only on a platonic level


Same here, It's really frustrating.


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Orangez
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18 Nov 2014, 1:27 am

I am terrible with everyone and women even more since I have even less to relate to them. Since I always talk down to people like a teacher to a child; however, it seems even more wrong with women.