Double-Standards: The Irony of Empathy and Autism

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It's been awhile since I've written anything on autism. I wrote a post about autism and empathy that I hope you all enjoy.

http://www.lunalindsey.com/2014/10/double-standards-irony-of-empathy-and.html

That explained my existence as it stands. I think these ideas are slowly proliferating, at roughly the same rate as the increase in diagnoses. People will continue to freak out about us for the short term no doubt, but I don't really believe in coincidence - seems to me we're discovering for ourselves the biological advantages of spectrum life...

Thank you Luna Lindsay.

Reading of how you were pre-empted and what happened next, I shared your sadness and I can imagine the depth and width of the silent hurt you felt. Whether intentionally or not - he silenced you, and you were voiceless once again in your life. That old familiar territory.

Also I was very glad to discover your blog today. You are a very insightful writer and that discovery has made my day. Your article on dehumisation really gelled with me. Few people can, or have, articulated the issues around that with the brevity and clarity you brought to it.
So strength to your arm.

Of course you have empathy. In spades, sister. Strength to your arm.

Excellent article. I would recommend for anyone.

Thanks guys. ^_^

I agree. It's brilliant. I also would recommend for anyone and everyone!

I like your article, I really liked the comparison you made about if people treated a heart attack like they treat autism. Also the was the part about things being ramped up to 11 a Spinal Tap reference? if so that is awesome. But yeah I think it makes more sense we don't lack empathy but are so overwhelmed by sensory input it can be hard to express it...or at least express it in a way people get.

Fantastic article! Very well written. Just perfect really. Thank you for writing this and sharing it with us.

I also like the article you linked to about privilege. Another great read.

I like your blog.

I couldn't help but be struck by your partner's words:

They epitomize people's misunderstanding of us. My feelings have always been strong. I just express them differently. For neurotypicals, I think, display of emotion is 50% if not more of caring. For me it's 0% and I've often been called cold and detached. It is hurtful to be thought of that way when the opposite is true.

Yes it is.

I found this article very interesting. I'm a little surprised to see it on page 2 already considering the volume and value of the content. I've reseached empathy a tiny bit myself and it seems to be one of those concepts that has a multitude of meanings to people. It's not easy to pin down the exact meaning. Just look at how long the wikipaedia page is on empathy.....

One thing that's certain is that people always know how they want to be treated in any given situation - I just wish I knew what that was!! !! !!

that's for sure

Hehe yes, it is Spinal Tap. ;)



Actually, to let you in on a little secret, people don't always know how they want to be treated. They often know how they don't want to be treated, which isn't the same thing. When you ask them what they do want? They don't have a clear answer.

It's a question people are not used to answering. Because rarely is it sincerely asked.

Actually, to let you in on a little secret, people don't always know how they want to be treated. They often know how they don't want to be treated, which isn't the same thing. When you ask them what they do want? They don't have a clear answer.

It's a question people are not used to answering. Because rarely is it sincerely asked.[/quote]

Hey Jamgrrl
Can you give an example of what you mean? My position is that people know they want to be treated with respect etc but that means different things to different people . it could mean listening to them - or it could mean talking to them - depending on the situation and that's where I sometimes get it wrong.

Well, that's probably a different way of saying the same thing I'm saying. Sort of. :) Everyone wants to be treated "well", with respect, kindly, listened to, etc. But those are general terms, and as you pointed out, the specifics can widely vary.

Some examples? I'm going to choose jealousy. Let's say a woman is upset because her boyfriend just flirted with another woman in the bar. She doesn't actually know what she wants from him. She just knows she's mad. Maybe she demands an apology, or tells him she never wants him to flirt with anyone ever again. But really, she wants him to pay more attention to her at home throughout the week. She herself hasn't figured it out yet.

Lots of people are not very introspective. They don't know what they *really* want. Even introspective people can be blind to what we really want, because the conscious mind is sometimes at odds with the subconscious (and the subconscious doesn't speak English.) These internal conflicts are pretty common, and can sometimes result in strange outward behavior... For instance, the concept of "projection" is an example of where a person is repressing their inner wants, and is in denial themselves, and since they fear anyone finding out about this inner desire, they publicly declare their hatred of that thing. The example of homophobia is often used -- many prominent homophobes have themselves turned out to be gay. But it's all unconscious, so even the person himself isn't aware it's going on.

Does that help?

> Jamgrrl

Thanks I see what you mean

Nice article. It needs to be taken to account there are many, many factors to be taken account regarding empathy and autism, so it's impossible to make any general statements about it.

One thing I'm going to point out is this: "For instance, one line of thinking has concluded that there are two classes of empathy, cognitive and emotional empathy. "Normal" people of course have the emotional empathy, and autists have cognitive empathy, which is sort of like a lesser version of empathy, not "real" empathy. " Actually, most researchers agree on the opposite, only cognitive empathy is impaired in autism, while emotional empathy remains intact. This is the opposite of psychopathy, where emotional empathy is severely reduced if not non-existent. When most people think of empathy, they think of emotional empathy, while researchers are referring to cognitive empathy, which leads to public misconceptions about autism.