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rugulach
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30 Jan 2015, 5:26 pm

ASDers getting bullied is commonplace but I want to look at it from the opposite angle. Have you bullied? If so, why? What was your motivation? Did you bully alone or as a part of a group? Was the bullying physical or emotional or both? Were your victims ASDers or NTs? Was your bullying effective in the short term and in the long term?



kraftiekortie
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30 Jan 2015, 5:28 pm

I've never even THOUGHT about bullying anybody.



rugulach
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30 Jan 2015, 5:33 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
I've never even THOUGHT about bullying anybody.


Ever?



kraftiekortie
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30 Jan 2015, 5:36 pm

Never. Honest.

I have thought about gently teasing people. I do that now. I flirt in a teasing way.



LupaLuna
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30 Jan 2015, 5:42 pm

I have tried bullying a couple of time to get accepted into the group. Being a victim of it, you don't like doing it because you know how much it hurts being on the receiving end of it. But as many here have pointed out, It's all a matter of working your way up the hierarchy.



y-pod
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30 Jan 2015, 11:23 pm

I've bullied when I was a little kid. All the targets were boys. Girls stick to each other much better and sometimes gang up on boys who annoyed us. Though now I think about it I'm not sure it's bullying. I don't think plain normal fighting between kids count as bullying. You know all kids argue and tease each other and sometimes end up punching each other. You're on equal grounds and having a fair fight. I did encounter a kid or two who absolutely wouldn't fight back and would just cry, I usually stop right away when I realize they wouldn't fight back.

I did have a nemesis and we bullied each other when possible. :) I had more kids on my side, but she's closer to the teachers and sometime reported us. I think that's perfectly normal. Didn't everyone have a nemesis like that?


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ReticentJaeger
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30 Jan 2015, 11:30 pm

Once when I was younger, I told my cousin to spell out a word on the patio with chalk. When she spelled it wrong, I got annoyed and threw a piece of chalk at her head. She cried and I felt like a monster. Still am one.



mrspotatohead
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31 Jan 2015, 12:36 am

I don't know if it counts since I didn't mean to... but I told a girl a story about those sap pockets on pine trees eating children who lie and then get too close to them, and I didn't see her for the rest of the summer, and then her brother told me that she didn't come outside that whole summer because of my story... he was pretty mad about it. I had no idea, though, and I thought I was just telling a story like kids normally do. I don't know if it can count as bullying if you didn't intend it to be taken seriously... and I still don't know why or how she believed the story.



avhärda
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31 Jan 2015, 2:22 am

I remember in elementary school there was one girl in our class who everyone called gay, and I joined in calling her gay (not to her face, behind her back) even though I didn't know what the word meant. Peer pressure I guess. Karma got me though, as a few years after that I would proceed to switch to a school where I would be bullied myself.


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Zajie
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31 Jan 2015, 3:45 am

I admit I bullied someone when I was in 7th grade and I still feel so horrible about it, it was someone who didn't look good and at that time I cared too much about looks that I used to feel disgusted from people who didn't look good to me, that person had very puffy hair and a 'horse face' and me and someone I used to always sit with would always go and make fun of that person in front of them/bully them and make fun of them behind their back or to their face. I hope that person is doing well now I'm sorry I bullied.



mr_bigmouth_502
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31 Jan 2015, 4:00 am

I don't remember any specific instances, but I will honestly admit that in my younger days, I belittled other people for personal satisfaction. I was bullied a lot in school, and I firmly believe that 99% of bullies were themselves the victims of bullying themselves, so in a way I was mainly reacting to how I was already being treated.

Oddly, my main targets were not other students, but teachers. I had tons of teachers I didn't get along with in school, and sometimes things could get ugly. I thought they were treating me harshly and unfairly, so I spit it back at them. I'm not saying it's right or justified, but it's what I did.



lickerofjustice
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31 Jan 2015, 8:48 am

I swear I forgot. I think the worst I've done is teasing people for like lots of times and now, the Karma affects me :ninja:


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EmeraldGreen
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31 Jan 2015, 9:10 am

If you include joining in with the mob of kids at school who were constantly telling stories about what a dweeb so-and-so (let's call him/her THAT GUY) was in junior high school, and snickering behind his back, yes. This is exactly what stokes the flames of bullying and a mob mentality.

A part of my former life as an NT (that is, until I found out AS existed 2 years ago) was always seeing That Guy everywhere I have gone in my 46 years of life. There was That Guy in junior high school, That Guy in high school, college, in every workplace I have known.

Just one example in my current workplace, someone with neurological differences has twice now been described by my supervisor in front of our entire team as "such a weird little man". I refuse to participate in any of that anymore.

Especially as I now find myself the subject of bullying in the workplace. Very ironically, by someone looking very much like an Aspie themselves. :lol: If they are, my wish for them is that they find out one of these days. It would truly make them a nicer person.


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QuantumChemist
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31 Jan 2015, 11:41 am

While I detest bullying (and this may make little sense to some here), I have bullied people in the past who have bullied my friends. I did it to teach those that bully what it feels like on the other end. It is not something I like to do, but during those times I saw it was necessary to break a perpetual chain that was developing. After the lesson is learned, I stopped doing that to them. I did not get gratification in it, I just felt it was the right way to stop the bullies with their own weaknesses. Funny thing is, most bullies are more weak than they first appear to be.



rugulach
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31 Jan 2015, 12:03 pm

kraftiekortie wrote:
Never. Honest.

I have thought about gently teasing people. I do that now. I flirt in a teasing way.


I have never ever bullied either. Funny story - I am a big guy so was expected by others to be a bully. When I refused to be a bully, others turned around and started bullying me. So, in effect I got bullied for not being a bully. 8O :x



slenkar
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31 Jan 2015, 12:09 pm

I used to spend time with those who were ostracized. After many years of being bullied in high school it must have affected me. I tried bullying a couple of times, but I wasnt very good at it :D and it didnt feel good on reflection so I stopped.