Do you think my former friend may be on the spectrum?

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Anna_K
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01 Oct 2014, 8:38 pm

I was friends with this girl, we met at a summer camp in Grade 5. We has a lot of the same interests, and I enjoyed talking to her. Everything was good in the first 2 days, but on the 3rd day, she started to say things that seemed a little out of character. She would say stuff about my weight "How are you so skinny, are you on a diet? "Do you have anorexia or something?" This offended me a bit, cuz she seemed so insensitive. And we were only 10 years old, thats not a normal thing for a 10 year old to say to another in my POV.

We reconnected 2 years later, in middle school for a while, I didn't forget about her insensitive comments. I made friends with other people. We had different friends, so we didn't talk much anyways, and we were never all that close.

When high school started, she had one class with me, she was really nice to me at first, and I was willing to become better friends with her, I assumed that her insensitivity and critical ways had changed since 5th Grade. She would always invite herself over to my house after school. She would invite herself to other peoples houses too, and if they said they were busy, she would question them. I let her, cuz I didn't want to be impolite, and I didn't know if it was good or bad. But when I showed her my room, she did the following things that would be considered weird, and outside of the social norm:

-Snooping through my drawers, even after I told her not to
-Opening boxes and notebooks, even after I told her not to
-She found a box of heart shaped paper clips, a christmas gift to me. I told her she could have 2, but she grabbed a HANDFUL of them. I told her to only take 2 and put the rest away, but she shoved them in her pocket.
-Prank calling people from the landline phone, even after I told her not to
-I told her she had to leave, cuz I needed to do stuff, and she questioned me about what I was doing. Even my mom said that was weird.

Other behaviours of hers that are considered outside of the social norm:

-I was sick for half a week, she called me up on a Sunday when I was just recovering asking me to do something. But my parents said I couldn't, cuz it was > -20 degrees outside and snowing, and they didn't want me sick again. I said that, and she said, "no offense, but it sounds like you're lying"(cuz I told her I was coming back on Monday)

-Whenever I would talk about my problems with her, she would criticize me and talk about how that was nothing and rant on about her "issues".

I eventually got annoyed by all this, and stopped talking to her. Even my mom was saying that she might be on the spectrum. Sorry to write a long rant, but I just need some other opinions.


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kraftiekortie
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01 Oct 2014, 9:03 pm

This is what I believe:

Whether she's on the Spectrum or not is irrelevant, and no excuse for her going through your drawers, etc.

This girl sounds like she's a real piece of work, and best avoided.



a_dork
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01 Oct 2014, 11:05 pm

The insensitive comments about your weight and inviting herself to your house may very well have been due to a lack of social awareness. However, searching through your belongings even after you asked her to stop indicates disrespect. Since you didn't mention other signs of her possibly being on the spectrum, such as any stims or sensory issues, it's difficult to determine whether she's on it or not. In any case, it sounds like she's going to need plenty of help in ameliorating her behavior toward others.


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Anna_K
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03 Oct 2014, 6:49 pm

Not sure if she has any sensory issues or not, I was more concerned about her behaviour. Everyone else notices that she is "different" too, and some people even spread rumours or make fun of her, and I felt sorry for her at first, that was part of the reason I became a close friend to her in the first place. I felt like I was being used so thats why I stopped contacting her.


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CockneyRebel
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03 Oct 2014, 10:05 pm

I had a friend like that one time. She made fun of my accent one night and than she had the nerve to snoop through my records and cassettes. That was back in 1994, so I didn't own any CDs yet. I hated it when she did that, because I thought that she was going to tell me to get with the times.


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